Now a word of caution before we get to the telltale signs of a man’s love. It’s important to know that all guys are different. Some make it obvious when they’re in love. While others are a bit more shy about showing their affection. So you shouldn’t read too much into any one of your man’s actions or his emotional cues. 

12 Signs A Man Loves You

Often the best way to find out how a man is feeling is to talk to him. But some guys shut down when asked about love or shy away from telling you how they feel, even when you’re just asking them what they want for dinner tomorrow. So getting a read on your guy’s emotional availability is no easy task. However using these 12 telltale signs can provide you with some solid insight into how he’s feeling about your relationship. 

#1 - He Shows Up

When a guy is in love with you he will always show up when you need him. He obviously has to spend time at work and has a life of his own too. But if he shows up on time for your dates, if he calls or texts you when he says he will, or if he shows up and surprises you with small gifts or thoughtful actions… that can mean a lot, especially if he’s a man that has trouble talking about or expressing his emotions.

#2 - He’s Emotionally Available

Sex, passion and intimacy are all normal parts of a new relationship. In fact it’s not unusual for new relationships to go through a honeymoon phase where the two of you have trouble staying out of the bedroom. But eventually all that fiery action will simmer down a bit. And if he’s truly in love with you, he’ll still be emotionally and spiritually available. Even if you’re not in the throes of passion with him.

#3 - He Puts You First

You’re new in his life. So he’s not likely to put you first before everyone else that’s been around for years. At least not yet. But a man who’s in love will prioritize you in all sorts of different ways, from small things like holding the door for you and letting you enter first to much bigger things like cancelling plans with friends to stay in with you or even buying you expensive gifts to show how much he cares.

#4 - He Talks In The Future Tense

This next sign is a great way to gain insight into a man’s long-term intentions. Is he always making plans with you? And I don’t just mean plans for tomorrow or next week. But future plans like where he could see you living together, how big of a family he wants or how he envisions his retirement to be. If he does there is a good chance he can see your relationship lasting beyond the short term.

#5 - He Listens Actively

Is he just casually talking to you or does he really listen? Does he respond with meaningful comments, thoughts and suggestions? Or is it all just small talk from him? Active listening means a man really cares. If you have his full attention when you speak it’s a good sign. But remembering what you said, showing genuine interest in your thoughts and ideas and adding to the conversation with thoughtful responses are all signs he’s in love.

#6 - He’s Transparent

In a new relationship honesty can be tough. But if he’s transparent and honest with you even when it’s hard it’s another good sign he’s committed to the relationship. He might be honest with you about his secrets. His past. His finances. Or even his sexual desires. Whatever it is it’s never a bad thing when he’s open and honest with you from the start.

#7 - He’s Got Your Back

Whether you’re looking for a new job, a new house or apartment or just going through a tough time, a man that cares, encourages and supports you through those tough times is a man that loves you. He might support you financially while you’re job hunting. He might attend viewings or meetings with listing agents. Or he might just be there with kind words and affirmations to validate you when you need it most. Just like honesty, support comes in many forms. But any type of consistent support is a sign he’s in love. 

#8 - He Respects You

Respecting and honoring you is another sign he cares. If he loves you he will honor who you are, what you do for a living and what you want out of life. But honor and respect need to go beyond the material world too. A man who loves you will also always respect your boundaries, no matter what they may be. Whether you’re in a new relationship and not ready to be intimate or even if there are just certain things you don’t want in the relationship, he needs to be OK with that.

#9 - He Makes You Feel Protected

If the love is real, you’ll feel safe when you’re around him. There’s no material sign for this one. So you’ll have to look inward and reflect on how you feel when you’re with him. But al;ways remember that emotional safety is just as important as physical safety. Yes, a loving man will want to protect you from physical harm. But it’s even more important that he makes you feel spiritually and emotionally safe in his presence.

#10 - He Shows You Off To Friends And Family

When a man is in love, he’ll want to show you off to his friends and family. This is a particularly good sign for gaining insight into a man’s long term plans. Now it’s possible for a guy to introduce you to his friends when he’s not looking for a long term relationship. But if you’re invited to meet his mom, dad or the rest of his support system, it’s a good sign he’s thinking about a future with you.

#11 - He’s Consistent

Not every man is good at expressing his emotions and vulnerabilities. But just because he doesn’t do everything you expect a typical Romeo to do that doesn’t mean he’s not in love with you. It’s more important to recognize consistency in his actions than anything else. If he’s consistent in texting or calling. If he meets up when he says he will. And if he always follows through on his words it can be a very good sign. His actions should always be consistent and not confusing.

#12 - He Says It

The most important sign that means a man is in love with you is if he says it. Yes, there are some men out there who will lie about it just to make you feel comfortable. But if he says he loves you, he probably does. Now remember that men won’t always use their words. So if he’s doing several of the things we’ve listed above, making you feel safe and comfortable and if he’s emotionally available and honest with you… He’s more than likely already head over heels in love.

Why It’s So Hard to Tell If A Man Loves You

Men and women are totally different creatures. From our anatomy and the way we dress to the way we think, speak and act, it’s hard enough for a girl to know how her man is feeling, even when you’re both head over heels in love. But when a relationship is new, it’s even harder to know a man’s feelings. 

Much of that has to do with a man’s emotional availability. Some guys are naturally more open to showing you he loves you. Even when the relationship is still fresh. Other guys are more reserved. And if he’s emotionally unavailable for whatever reason, he will be more guarded with his feelings.

Masculine norms also make it harder for men to express themselves. This leads some men to shy away from any vulnerability like being in love. Let’s take a look at a few other reasons why it’s hard to read men’s feelings.

• Some men are emotionally insecure 
• Some men may be emotionally immature, especially teenagers and younger men
• Men regulate emotions through actions, not words
• Male alexithymia is a condition where a man has difficulty expressing his emotions
• Age old societal norms make it taboo for men to be sensitive
• Some men are shy, anxious or nervous 
• Sometimes, he’s just not into you

Love Vs. Lust: Telling The Difference Between Romance And Sex

When you’re in a long term relationship the lines between love and lust become clear. But at the beginning of a relationship especially if it’s only been a few weeks or months it can be hard to distinguish between physical affection, infatuation, fantasy and emotional depth. So to help you make sense of what’s going on in your relationship let’s review the signs he’s clearly in love.

Signs he’s in love

• He’s available physically, emotionally and spiritually
• He makes you feel like a priority
• He talks about you in his future
• He actively listens when you talk and remembers little things
• He’s honest even when it’s hard
• He respects your thoughts, ideas, hopes, dreams and boundaries
• He feels physically and/or emotionally safe
• He’s consistent

Signs he’s in lust

To make things even more clear, let’s look at some signs you might be dealing with a guy who’s just thirsty with lust.

• He takes hours or days to respond to messages
• He only calls or texts later in the evening
• He only hangs out with you in private settings
• He confuses your conversations with others
• He doesn’t quite feel honest
• He makes you question his intentions

These are mostly just the reverse of all the signs we’ve discussed in this article. But when you break it down like this, the difference between a man in love and a man in lust is quite clear. Ultimately if you’re questioning how he feels, if you feel uncertain about emotional love vs physical attraction or if he’s just not being honest about his intentions… It’s a surefire sign he’s not into you.

10 Signs Of Toxic Love

Now you know how to tell if he’s in love with you or not. But what about red flags? And I’m not talking about signs he’s in lust with you. I mean real red flags that tell you you’re not in a safe relationship. Here are 10 signs you’re in a toxic relationship.

1. He gives you mixed signals
2. His actions are inconsistent
3. He causes emotional confusion
4. He shows you a lack of commitment
5. He uses emotional manipulation to get his way
6. He gaslights you making you doubt yourself
7. He belittles you with harsh criticisms
8. He’s jealous and possessive
9. He feels emotionally unavailable
10. He fills your life with constant drama and negativity

I’m not trying to scare you. But you do need to be honest with yourself especially when you’re in a newer relationship with a man you don’t know that well. If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s time to take a look at your situationship and decide if it’s worth sticking around.

These aren’t just signs he’s not interested in you or that he’s starting to pull away. They’re signs of much deeper issues that can become far more damaging if left unchecked. The truth is you’re in a toxic relationship and it’s time to walk away.