First of all, let’s talk about dating in general. Even though there is an opinion that dating a guy is not at all different than dating a lady, there are some peculiarities, both personal and from the side of society, which will be good to be aware of. Let’s break it down.
Don’t seek for perfect relationships
Many people spend their life looking for a perfect relationship, for a mate from some pink, fluffy and non-realistic fantasy that can make them happy. But most likely the end of this path is rather disappointing. We all strive for the ideal, we wish to find a person who will become a true soulmate, “another half of an orange”, as they say in Spain. But those who went through a sufficient number of relationships know that ideals survive only in some utopian world, in reality they crush quickly and painfully. Every human being has unique characteristics, so any relationship is an unstoppable negotiation about compromises and ways to create a balance between characters.
Seek through friends and relatives
Especially if they are aware of your sexual preferences, they might have already suggested to present their acquaintance who also happened to be gay. For sure, everybody wants to have freedom of choice and be able to pick a partner by himself. But why not give it a chance? Yes, there are chances you wouldn’t like each other or happen to be polar opposites. But it might not be the case and your new acquaintance could actually be the one you dreamed of. And if not, then simply spend your time well and maybe get a new friend.
But it might not be the case and your new acquaintance could actually be the one you dreamed of.
Also, meeting a partner through the people you already know prevents from having issues later. You get a possibility to instantly learn more about the date from those who already know him well enough. That means, no bad guys, no cheaters or liars. At least, you will know about it beforehand and take your own responsibility in dating them.
Don’t judge relationships based on bad experience
Remember all the cases when you unjustly judge a person only because he reminded you of someone from the past whom you didn’t like or who hurt you in some way. Don’t try to build a new relationship on the rotten bricks, it will never work. And never blame your new partner for the sins of previous one. New person should be a new start, “tabula rasa”, new page, which doesn’t need old mistakes.
Don’t rely on parties
Gay dating often implies going to various clubs and parties thinking that a future partner must be awaiting there. In our opinion, this option is not even close to being a good one. Well, maybe if you need a one night stand, yes, this is your chance of getting one. But those dreaming of a future husband will not be in luck paying a visit to a gay bar.
Apart from people who don’t deserve trust, trying to find a partner through a party has other drawbacks. Such as being too stressful for many people. For instance, gay dating for introverts is full of complications by itself, and going to a nightclub, with hundreds of people dancing or drinking and loud music playing will be a whole challenge. Dating is a process one should enjoy, and there is no need to complicate it and make it unpleasant.
Dating is a process one should enjoy, and there is no need to complicate it and make it unpleasant.
Don’t let stereotypes catch you and stop inventing problems
Some people say that straight couples are the only ones with a future, other believe that only gays can build healthy relationships. Surely none of those points are true. All of us are human beings, all of us can be right and wrong. Not a single relationship will always work flawlessly, so seeing everything in black and white just provokes problems and unrealistic expectations which lead to disappointment.
Inventing problems is the perfect way to sabotage yourself and your relationship. People love to see all things in black so sincerely, that they ignore the simple and clear truth — some problems are just thin air. If you doubt yourself, underestimate your self-esteem, this feeling of insecurity will both pull down you and your future relationships. It is important to understand that life is always a road with ups and downs and it’s okay to fail. Sometimes just being gay is a huge deal, but you are who you are. All you can do is just take a deep breath and soberly assess the situation.
Don’t be desperate
Meeting gay singles, chances are you think of them as of your last chance to get a boyfriend. That happens often because other gay men in somebody’s local area are not often visible and may even have not come out of the closet. So when you finally come across one, and especially if he happens to be your type, you don’t want to let him go.