The subtle art of flirting online

In the age of internet communication flirting via text becomes more than real. The superpower of how to flirt online is not a thing that always comes naturally, as people in online interactions seem distant and impersonal, while flirting is a detailed process which engages a lot more than just words.

  • Adrian Q, 33
    Hangzhou, China
    Hello
  • Joie, 35
    Miami, USA
    Hi!
  • Lyubov, 32
    Warsaw, Poland
    Hello
  • David, 38
    Lisbon, Portugal
    Hello
  • McWilliams , 37
    Benin, Nigeria
    Hi
  • Quad, 37
    Lagos, Nigeria
    Hi
  • Carolina, 44
    Medellín, Colombia
    Hello
  • Meimei, 46
    Beijing, China
    Hello
  • Zah, 40
    Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
    Hello
  • Sonja, 28
    Aleksinac, Serbia
    Zdravo
  • Tatyana, 51
    Bender, Moldova
    Hello
  • AXEL, 36
    Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
    Hello

At the same time, online conversation has a lot of advantages in comparison with real things. At first, you have a lot more time for thinking your responses over. That gives the opportunity to sound polished and saves your nerve cells. Awkwardness, which would be disturbing during a real talk, goes away here, as you don’t have to look your partner straight in the eyes.

On the other hand, online flirting can be tricky, especially if somebody is new to it. While having more freedom in expression, it’s easy to become intrusive and push your interlocutor away with behaviour. Messaging also often becomes an obstacle on the way of presenting yourself, as getting lost in a made-up image is simple.

If you are determined about finding love online and understand the importance of self-development, we are ready to serve enough advice to make flirting online painless and enjoyable. This advice can suit both guy’s and girl’s purposes: you can learn how to seduce a woman or how to attract the right guy.

a young asian man is upset because of his messages

Begin in a casual way

No matter if you are already acquainted with a person or you just found each other’s profiles, don't put too much effort into your first conversation. Don’t just write “Hi!”, ask a simple question about how the day goes or their work or hobbies. Replying to a bare greeting is often awkward but having an inquiry to answer your companion will feel more at ease. Also, even though you might be uncomfortable starting the dialogue, remember, starting flirting online as well as internet dating is less scary than the same thing in reality.

Find some more subjects for talking about. User profiles usually contain enough information about a person's interests, so use it as a tool for broadening the number of topics. Don’t be afraid to develop the conversation, somebody has to trigger the further discussion and why not do it yourself.

2. Don’t delay the answer for long

Flirting is a process that happens when two people connect. If you stay away for too long, talking can stop at some point as nobody likes waiting for a response. Respond to messages as soon as you see them, try answering most of the questions your interlocutor asks. If you are busy at the moment, politely tell me about it so that a person doesn’t have to sit waiting.

  1. If you are afraid texting might not be interesting, don’t worry. The collocutor always has the option to tell you are not matching as well as just stop the conversation and explain why.
  2. Same refers to you. If you started flirting but along the way found out the person is not really what you expected, there is no need to go on. Just be polite and understanding.

a happy man in a pink t-shirt is using his smartphone

3. Write the way you talk

Written communication is often associated with business emails and while there are certain norms and rules in official written language, online flirting should go the way any real conversation does.

Imagine you actually have your date in front of you when you are writing a message. While writing the text, read it out loud, as if you are actually speaking to a person next to you. If being said it doesn’t sound natural, correct the parts that seem artificial.

Loss of emotional base can be replaced by right use of punctuation. Another thing that technology offers are emojis - and it is the best way to show what you really feel, for you can use a face to represent yours. Don’t overdo it though: too many emojis distract from the actual meaning of your messages and look facetious.

4. Joke

People are attracted to those who are fun to be around. Being positive and playful can easily win a lot of hearts. Some people are afraid to look foolish in the eyes of the companion, but don’t exaggerate. If you are not sure how to casually bring a joke into the conversation, just hold your breath and say it out loud. The moment you get the feedback and see that the person you talk to thinks it’s hilarious, it will get easier.

Instead of coming up with a witty joke, try telling a story of your own. Maybe something funny happened to you today or some time ago.

Speaking on something more personal shows your openness and readiness to get acquainted further. It also will show the opportunity to ask more questions. For example, you may inquire if something similar ever happened to your online date before or ask for opinion on the whole situation. By making jokes you can also find out if your sense of humour is anything similar.

5. Don’t focus on yourself

If you want to get into a person's favour, you need to show interest in him or her particularly. People also like to talk about themselves, to boast a little and share the experience, as sharing personal details is the easiest thing to do. Be sure to ask questions to show you are eager to know more. Ask follow-up questions as well.

It’s not only the way to make a person like you, but also a chance to get to know each other better.

Still remember to give some information about yourself too. Add little facts to the question you’re making, give your opinion on the subject discussed. Let your partner ask questions too and give full answers. This technique will keep the conversation going for long as well as be pleasant and amusing for both sides. Also it will leave the opponent with desire to return to the interesting collocutor.

a modern indian couple is looking for each other online

6. Show honesty

Flirting online is the first step, which later on might evolve into a serious relationship. Guys and girls both use online dating for the sake of an easier start, often with the intention to bring it to reality as it develops. So if messages during flirting online make a road into real dating, you want it to be fair and honest. So here is why you need it:

  1. Being yourself is not only the way to attract the person, but also a chance to build a healthy affair which will be enjoyable for both parties. If you are honest even when you flirt online, you show a person that you are ready to be open about everything and you both learn you can trust each other.
  2. Honesty while flirting will also show both of you if you really suit each other. If you are clear about your plans for the future, your views and beliefs, it will be a chance for your partner-to-be to check if it is actually what he or she wants. You also can expect honesty from the side of a person you are flirting with.
  3. You also shouldn’t pretend to agree with ideas that don't satisfy you so that the person likes you. You should be loved for who you are, as if your initiative is supposed to be long-term, you’ll have to eventually come out as who you really are and it can be a painful process both for you and your partner.
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