Dating features in Indonesia
People thinking about dating an Indonesian person should remember that people from other countries usually have some pretty valuable differences in their culture and mentality they need to know. It’s always better to learn about them before dating an asian to avoid getting in an awkward and unpleasant situation.
An unpleasant stereotype you might face
There is an unpleasant stereotype about the Indonesians dating the “bule” - that’s the name that the Caucasian foreigners have there. The stereotype is mostly based on a belief that the locals dating the tourists usually use them for money for them and all their relatives.
Of course, there were some cases that helped to create the stereotype, but we should always remember that believing any prejudice can sometimes make us blind. Many decent people in Indonesia date the foreigners without even thoughts of using them as cashpoints. The Indonesians tend to earn much less than people in developed countries, so sometimes they might think it won’t be a problem for you to help them or to buy them something. In any case, it’s always better to discuss the situation before it grows into a real problem.
Family is extremely important for the Indonesians
There are many people from different corners of the Earth which belong to different cultures and have different customs and traditions, but in many societies, it’s pretty important for children to have a good relationship with their parents. In Indonesia, this feature has not only a great value but sometimes can be considered as the highest priority. Those people tend to have extremely strong family bonds with their relatives.
There are a lot of situations when the closest relatives can initiate the relationship of their child with the offspring of a highly respected family.
It might look extremely cute or decent for some, but people wanting to date the Indonesians should remember that the family of their potential partner will not only have a big influence on the relationship but also will have an opportunity to break it. Those people value their reputation the most, and if the head of the family decides their child should not date a foreigner - the relationship will be stopped. At the same time, there are a lot of situations when the closest relatives can initiate the relationship of their child with the offspring of a highly respected family. You need to remember that if your Indonesian partner’s family disapproves of you - that is probably the end of your dating.
At the same time, remembering how important family contact is you can clearly say that casual family dinner with your partner’s relatives means that the person has some serious intentions and feelings for you. Be cheerful and respectful - and there should be no problems for you.
Premarital sex is not a thing there
There is another important feature that should be known by everyone wanting to try Indonesian dating. Sex before marriage is not something people tend to have and discuss there. It’s tabooed - people consider it to be disgraceful and damaging to the family’s reputation. It doesn’t mean that there is absolutely no premarital sex - it’s just not that common there and people avoid speaking about that too. So if a person you like continues to avoid intimacy it doesn’t mean they dislike you - they just want their reputation to be safe.
Some people think that the rules are not that strict for the young generation of the Indonesians from Bali because of all the tourists from different countries coming there annually. In some cases, it might be true, but you should never insist on intimacy anyway unless you want to scare a potential partner and achieve an unpleasant label of a sexual predator. If your intentions are serious enough and you think about marriage - then your potential partner would probably know about that.
Not everyone has the same privileges
Another thing that may become an unpleasant surprise for a foreigner - Indonesia is not a country where the LGBT people have any human rights. Though it’s not officially illegal, there were some precedents when two homosexual men were sentenced to public caning. Hundreds of gay people were arrested all over the country.
Though some people try to protest and fight for their rights, the situation is likely to become even more strict. It can bring a lot of headache to homosexual people wanting to find a partner in Indonesia, so it might be worth considering to try gay dating somewhere else.
Marriage and legal agreements in Indonesia
For people who consider marrying the Indonesian, there are some aspects that should be known by everyone. A big part of Indonesian society is pretty religious - it’s presented through the fact that even many young people still follow some old traditional rituals of their ancestors. To understand why is that so important you need to know that to marry people in Indonesia you need to bring all the necessary documents to the Ministry of Religion. A big number of Indonesians are Muslims, and they prefer to use the Office of Religious Affairs. Non-religious couples are required to submit a ‘Notice of Intentions to Marry’ to the Civil Registration.
A big part of Indonesian society is pretty religious - it’s presented through the fact that even many young people still follow some old traditional rituals of their ancestors.
Another thing connected with laws and rights - the foreigners can’t own property there. It’s not common to think about such pessimistic things before and while dating, but if your Indonesian partner dies, you will have to sell all your local property to an Indonesian person.
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