Being single when you are over 30 can feel pretty stressful. You look at your friends and the people you see are all committed to long-term relationships. The thought that something might be wrong with you personally naturally comes to mind. Don’t worry - that’s not like that at all.
All the chances to get into a love affair are here for you. But it is probable that you don’t treat them as those worth attention because you feel like you can no longer participate in activities you used to like a decade ago. We believe that regardless of age people are still the same. Even though they feel that with age they gain more responsibilities, it doesn't prevent them from having fun.
Having that said, we want to help you finally get your love life to a place that would feel right.
Main issues of dating in your 30s
You need to know that dating after 30 looks more and more like a job interview. Romance and hormones don’t cover eyes anymore, knowledge and experience add some drops of healthy cynical attitude to the fire of love. It is difficult to say whether this selective cynicism is an obstacle that does not allow one to see an uncut diamond among a pile of pebbles or a stopper that helps to avoid any rash and poorly calculated decisions. For some people, cynicism is a poison that dooms them to loneliness. For others it becomes a medicine that helps to avoid repeating the mistakes of youth, clear the path from romantic euphoria and show the way to a much simpler but more stable life.
Stop tolerating things that don't suit you in other people. Leave the first date if you don’t like it.
When you are 30, you have a well-formed personality. You have an established life. Successful, unsuccessful - it does not matter. You have some experience and scars, so the leading strategy is to choose a spot and settle down. Every year you want fewer and fewer life-changing events. Everything should be simple, or at least understandable.
After 30 years of figuring out who is the best, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, you need to understand more or less what kind of person you want to spend your life with. Write the names of people you’ve recently met. Next to each name, write 5 things that you liked about them, and 5 that annoyed you. Set aside the list and return to it in a few days. Read it carefully, you will probably notice repetitions. Positive qualities that are repeated most often should become your new satellite.
As for many individuals dating and love affairs are left behind in their 20s, people don’t often think about how dating later in life can differ from what it used to be. The problems in relationships people in their 30s face are also not the same as before. Let’s discover what hardships adults come across on the dating scene.
- Everybody is taken. Especially since there is a tendency to get married in the late 20s, by the time you turn 30, everybody around already has a partner. And while several years ago you had the variety to pick from, now there are only several men and women left, and probably you are not interested in them.
- Breaking the deal. The longer you search for the one, the more you understand that feelings don’t matter if you don’t look at the world eye to eye. Deal breakers become a thing when you realise nothing could be worse than wasting time on somebody whose values don’t line up with yours.
- The pressure is tough. Even the people who only have good intentions can put a lot of pressure on singles in their 30s. Innocent questions like possible partners and plans for the future become disturbing if they are asked multiple times. And those who are waiting to play with your children are just awful! Single people already know they need love and constant reminders only become rude.
- Things are fast. Teenagers and young adults are seeking the game of love. It is just another way to get out of boredom and if it happens to be the love of their life - it’s OK, but if not - no big deal. Though the older you become, the more you want to simply settle. So both men and women over 30 are looking for a partner who will be ready to commit to the common case.
- Is it appropriate? This is the question that constantly arises in the head of those who stepped over the border of the 30s. It seems that all that fun that was allowed for younger people is now taken away. So the problem of spending time with your significant other never goes away.
- You are too busy. The thing is by the age of 30 you probably have already got a career and a household to care about - and being single doesn’t mean not having responsibilities. What it leads to is the problem of even finding time in the schedule to fill with romantic interactions. You are already used to the way you spend your time, but you never know if another person would be worth it.
Before you decide that dealing with all of this means it is easier to be left alone, we want to tell you: there are many solutions. Let’s see what you can do:
- Figure out your needs. Why do you want a partner in the first place? If it is mutual love and attention, then proceed. But if you come to the conclusion it is only social pressure that you want to abide by, think twice before going too far;
- Don’t grasp every straw. Having fewer options in your usual circle of communication is fine and it doesn’t mean you should stick to whatever is left. It is a signal to broaden the horizons and see what other places have to offer;
- Get out more often. Remember yourself 10 or 15 years ago. Was there something that could keep you inside for a long time? Probably only when you were ill or grounded. So don’t lose any chance of going out and meeting new people. Who knows, maybe the love of your life is waiting for you at one of the events;
- Go online. The thing to learn from younger generations is definitely about looking for acquaintances online. We are living in a time when technology surrounds each and every sphere of existence, and losing opportunities because you don’t want to use gadgets is just crazy!
Don't waste your time on people who don't deserve it. Stop tolerating things that don't suit you in other people. Leave the first date if you don’t like it. Don’t think this is your last chance, surely it’s not. Better spend time at your pleasure than spend it on those who are not worthy of you.
Leave the past in the past. Yes, your past has made you who you are now, but it doesn’t determine the present and the future. Better focus on what is happening right now, where you are moving and where you want to move. Time is your most important resource. You still have plenty of it, but being 30 you need to use it carefully.
After 30 it’s easy to become a boring and sad person: you had so many bad relationships that you no longer believe in a different outcome. It is important not to succumb to negative thoughts. If you think nothing will work out, it will be so. Try to believe in more positive things. Don’t show your frustration on a first date. You don't know how everything will turn out, so stop sabotaging your chances to find a soulmate.
When you go through a series of unsuccessful relationships, a natural protective mechanism is activated: if you don’t let people close, you cannot get hurt. It is necessary to get rid of such thoughts. Avoiding intimacy will never help you find a couple. Let yourself be vulnerable. If you are worried about this, tell yourself that everything will be fine. You know, it will be so. Vulnerability helps to establish connection and trust.
Good communication plays a key role in any relationship with friends, colleagues and mates. When you are over 30, you should be honest and open on a date and then in a relationship. Your partner should do all the same. The first argument happened? Discuss it as an adult. If you don’t start discussing relationships in the early stages, then it will be more difficult. And don’t forget that arguing and fighting with your partner is not about winning, it’s about establishing communication and solving the problem. There are no winners and losers here.
Don’t try to be someone else. You cannot pretend forever, so admit to yourself who you are and be this person. You must understand that if a possible mate cannot accept you as you are, then a harmonious relationship between you is impossible. Stop looking for the ideal. People shouldn’t be together just because they consider each other more or less acceptable options. Such relationships will be unhealthy and will not last long. However, waiting for Prince Charming is also not worth it. You aren’t perfect, no one is. Just be with the person whose virtues overlap shortcomings. Get ready for compromises, and also learn to accept another person as they are, without trying to change something the way you want.
Online dating for people over 30
If you still have doubts about looking for compatible singles online, just think about all the advantages such kind of dating has. It actually has the potential to solve all the issues mentioned above:
- You only meet single people on online dating websites. Instead of your usual group of friends where everybody has already got a spouse, online dating sites for people over 30 suggest getting to know those who are single as well and eager to get into relationships;
- There is no need to challenge yourself by going to places you don’t like. First, you find a compatible partner online, then you have enough time to communicate eye to eye and only then, if the connection sparks, you decide to go on a date anywhere you like;
- No rush. Often when adults get acquainted in real life they hurry too much and end up disappointed by each other when it is too late to change anything. Dating people over 30 online there is no way you will move too fast - the importance of knowing each other well before moving on seems clear enough;
- It is easy and accessible. Even the busiest person can find several minutes to respond to a message from a significant other. So for those over 30 dating sites are true salvation as they are able to connect to loving souls through the biggest times and distances.
Dating over 30 with Dating.com
Our platform aim was to create a space that will unite lonely souls regardless of age, gender, nationality or any other traits that can become an issue. Here we thought of every function that can make it easier for people to find each other. That is how our searching system was created. It accounts for every detail our client concerns as important: age, hobbies, education or appearance. Therefore everybody can customize the search for an ideal partner and get only the most compatible matches.
Here we thought of every function that can make it easier for people to find each other. That is how our searching system was created.
We want our customers to trust us, so we do as much as we can to protect personal data. Even though you need an email during the registration procedure, all communication with a potential date goes through special text and video chats, which don’t require the exchange of contact information. In case problems occur, the Customer Service Team is ready to help 24 hours a day.
With more than 20 years of experience in the online dating field, Dating.com has successfully brought together hundreds of couples all over the world. Take your chance and meet the love of your life on our website!