You need to know that dating after 30 looks more and more like a job interview. Romance and hormones don’t cover eyes anymore, knowledge and experience add some drops of healthy cynical attitude to the fire of love. It is difficult to say whether this selective cynicism is an obstacle that does not allow to see an uncut diamond among a pile of pebbles or a stopper that helps to avoid any rush and poorly calculated decisions. For some people cynicism is a poison that dooms them to loneliness. For others it becomes a medicine that helps to avoid repeating the mistakes of youth, clear the path from romantic euphoria and show the way to much simple but more stable life.
When you are 30, you are a well-formed personality. You have an established life. Successful, unsuccessful - it does not matter. You have some experience and scars, so the leading strategy is to choose a spot and settle down. Every year you want less and less life-changing events. Everything should be simple, or at least understandable.
After 30 years of figuring out who is the best, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, you need to understand more or less what kind of person you want to spend your life with. Write the names of people you’ve recently met. Next to each name, write 5 things that you liked about them, and 5 that annoyed you. Set aside the list and return to it in a few days. Read it carefully, you will probably notice repetitions. Positive qualities that are repeated most often should become your new satellite.
As for many individuals dating and love affairs are left behind in their 20s, people don’t often think about how dating later in life can differ from what it used to be. The problems in relationships people in their 30s face are also not the same as before. Let’s discover what hardships adults come across on the dating scene.
- Everybody is taken. Especially since there is a tendency to get married in the late 20s, by the time you turn 30, everybody around already has a partner. And while several years ago you had the variety to pick from, now there are only several men and women left, and probably you are not interested in them.
- Breaking the deal. The longer you search for the one, the more you understand that feelings don’t matter if you don’t look on the world eye to eye. Deal breakers become a thing when you realise nothing could be worse than wasting time on somebody whose values don’t line up with yours.
- The pressure is tough. Even the people who only have good intentions can put a lot of pressure on singles in their 30s. Innocent questions like about possible partners and plans for the future become disturbing if they are asked multiple times. And those who are waiting to play with your children are just awful! Single people already know they need love and constant reminders only become rude.
- Things are fast. Teenagers and young adults are seeking the game in love. It is just another way to get out of boredom and if it happens to be the love of their life - it’s OK, but if not - no big deal. Though the older you become, the more you want to simply settle. So both men and women over 30 are looking for a partner who will be ready to commit to the common case.
- Is it appropriate? This is the question which constantly rises in the head of those who stepped over the border of 30s. It seems that all that fun which was allowed for younger people is now taken away. So the problem of spending the time with your significant other never goes away.
- You are too busy. The thing is by the age of 30 you probably have already got a career and a household to care about - and being single doesn’t mean not having responsibilities. What it leads to is the problem of even finding time in the schedule to fill with romantic interactions. You are already used to the way you spend your time, but you never know if another person would be worth it.