Online dating mistakes to avoid

For many people, online dating is easier than a “real” one: it doesn’t require dressing up for dates or spending lots of time together in the first place because it allows people to learn more about each other comfortably and easily. At the same time, online dating has lots of details you should know about in advance: some of these features can spoil your dating experience a lot, so you should be careful and avoid some dating mistakes at all costs.
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As easy as online dating seems, it also has certain rules people using online internet dating sites have to follow. They are not strict laws you definitely have to abide by, but if you do it might help to speed up the process of meeting a compatible partner.

If you are new to online dating, there is no way you would know the peculiarities of romantic online communication. Therefore making mistakes is unavoidable. But if you just joined a dating website and are eager to meet the love of your life, you will find some advice really helpful. Though it might sound like a dream, you can easily start dating American women while living in other countries and this works with almost every country in the world. So we prepared a list of the most common mistakes dating newcomers make so that nobody repeats them. Let us show you what you should never do online dating.

Forgetting about a date

a couple drinking wine together via a video call

The main thing which attracts people to online dating platforms is the fact that it doesn’t consume as much time as real dating does. It seems so simple: no need to go out, spend time on a way to a date, spend hours on regular dating scheme steps but never get anywhere - because it might not be the right person. That is why busy people nowadays are often imagined lonely: they simply won’t have time to date.

As for online dating, it is seen as a way to find a partner without making any real-time investments. Once you join a dating website and find a person who seems nice, they automatically seem fully yours. That is not what happens in real life, but people still somehow expect it from online communications.

So the first of our online dating tips is about making time for your date regardless of where you met. Yes, dating online you won’t have to meet as often, but keeping the communication going is extremely important. Remember to check on your partner’s messages every now and then and don’t disappear for days. It is just rude and unpleasant to see how a person who seemed to be interested in a relationship abandons you without any explanation.

Editing pictures before putting them on the Internet has become so common nowadays that there is hardly a person who has never used graphic editors to make themselves more beautiful.

Altering the appearance

What is the first thing available to judge a person you met online? His or her profile picture. So when one creates a profile on a dating website, there is always a temptation to gloss things over and present yourself in a way that will be more attractive to potential partners. Editing pictures before putting them on the Internet has become so common nowadays that there is hardly a person who has never used graphic editors to make themselves more beautiful.

The thing is, even if such a tactic will attract more possible partners, it won’t keep them with you. The magic of picture editing immediately disappears once you meet your online date in reality. And by the time it happens you might already forget about all the filters you applied to profile pictures, but your date definitely remembers everything. And when your online image and a real personality don’t match, chances are relationships won’t have any further continuation.

Writing too general profile description

The whole point of filling the information section on a dating website is to allow your future partners to instantly understand what your life is about. It also allows you to match yourself with the most compatible partners who have similar worldviews and interests. So, as you see, there definitely is a reason to write a profile description in as many details as possible.

A tip for online dating newcomers: don’t be afraid to write the truth about your interests. Let’s see an example. You love art films, classical music and going out with friends… to visit museums and art galleries. You can write it as it is and that will give potential partners enough details to see if you match or not. But instead, many people write that they like films, music and hanging out with friends. Sounds pretty similar to the first variant, but says a lot less.

Will such a profile description help to meet an ideal partner? Definitely not. While reading such profiles people complete the lacking details with what their imagination can offer. They fill the gaps with their favourite genres and activities because it is the first thing to come to mind. It starts to feel that the right person is found. But when the communication starts, everything turns out to be different.

Writing a “shopping list”

a guy and a girl talking

It is quite OK to write several sentences about your expectations from a future partner. But it depends on what you describe. It is acceptable to write that you don’t want to date somebody who is up to marriage if you definitely don’t want it brought up too soon. If you mention religious beliefs or plans for the future, it is fine as well, as these are the things which both partners have to see eye to eye on otherwise the relationship won’t work out.

But there are people who write a list of criteria which, in their opinion, are vital for a person to have. And such lists often contain appearance descriptions. Is it really so important for your partner to be not less than 6’2” tall, have exactly blue eyes and dark hair? Where did these criteria even come from? If it is a reflection of what your ex used to be like or a picture of unrequited love from the past, forget about it and delete your demands.

Getting intimate too soon

It especially regards male online dating site users. Often it is only a little time after they meet a potential date when they start sending intimate pictures. And we all know of those guys who somehow decide to start a conversation with such content. Maybe they think it is attractive, but in reality, it feels so far from pleasant and more disgusting.

Same goes for men asking their recent acquaintances to send nudes. It is inappropriate to ask a woman to do so. Such demands only put girls in uncomfortable situations, especially if at first, a guy seemed to be nice.

It is just a big misconception that people joining dating platforms want free relationships and sex. In reality, it is quite the opposite. Many singles go online because they can’t meet a compatible partner in real life and internet dating just broadens their horizons. Don’t hurry up or be pushy. Better take things slowly, like you would if you met a partner offline. If you become a couple, sex will eventually happen, but there is no need to demand it too soon.

It is inappropriate to ask a woman to send nudes.

Expecting results fast

Online websites also give hope that once you join them the first date you meet will be the one. If it doesn’t happen so in reality why expect anything different from online dating? It takes time to find the right partner dating online as well, even though searching mechanisms suggest the best options.

Reasons why it happens are as follows:

  • a person wrote a fake description of themselves and you found it out during communication;
  • as mentioned before, the description was too general;
  • you liked the profile but not the way a person talks and presents their thoughts;
  • you went on a date and, while online communication seemed successful, in reality your partner turned out to be not so pleasant.

There can be many more reasons for it. But the main idea is not to be discouraged by a single failure and give up. There is a partner out there who will be perfect for you, just wait a little while until you two meet.

A few more online dating tips to remember

a handsome young man using his smartphone while smiling
  • Do not fall in love with photography. They can be fake or photoshopped. On the Internet, you can judge a person’s appearance only by photo, but do not forget, but a completely different person may come to you in person;
  • Do not think about the details too much. Do not think for hours about which restaurant to go to with a new friend or which music group to show him. Think of more global things: do you live in the same city (at least in one country), does the person seem smart, does she like to read? A person is unlikely to be able to meet your requirements 100%;
  • Read between the lines. Think about the tone of your interlocutor’s profile, whether he seems smart, friendly and kind or is he arrogant and sceptical of all other people;
  • Look for signs of boasting, sarcasm, insincerity, and others. Time to think if you find one. When a person writes that he loves his life in waves and he likes everything and his life is perfect - it looks doubtful;
  • Do not pay attention to the statements of people about yourself. Some may write in profiles that they have a sense of humour or that they only think positively. Such statements are far from always true. People tend to cheat in their profiles;

We hope that our online dating advice will help you to build the strongest relations you have ever had. Enjoy the online dating experience!

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