6 rules of dating in Denmark

People don’t usually know much about Denmark. This is one of those countries with the highest quality of life and multiple opportunities. Citizens of Denmark are sure of their tomorrow and are known as one of the happiest nations in the world.

The island consciousness is inherent in Denmark even more than in Great Britain. The main problem in the country is loneliness, which is why many clubs and communities are popular here. And still people are very polite and respectful to each other. Denmark hosts many festivals throughout the year. International Film Festival in Copenhagen in spring, the Roskilde Festival in summer (the largest music festival in northern Europe), the Viking Festival, the Jazz Festival, the Rock Festival and the Copenhagen Summer Festival. So they enjoy spending time somewhere outside, and it is a perfect opportunity for a date.

Straightforwardness and courtesy are the most characteristic features in behavior of the Danes. Don’t be surprised with the amount of questions you’ll get! When they meet, they officially introduce themselves and shake hands, both men and women. Even children, you know. Shaking harsh Danish hand will represent you as understanding and open person, so use this credit to your advantage. The Danes don’t like to talk about their personal lives, work, income, religion and previous relationships. Hobbies, interests, culture, traveling are your best choices for small talk and conversations.

They use jokes and sarcasm a lot, but don't let them trick you. Your reaction is the best indicator to them, they use it to see who you are. The Danes may make a joke, mentioning, for example, national characteristics. Even if it’s not hilarious, don’t take it close to heart. It’s better to joke back or laugh and change the subject.

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Danish men also seem pretty attractive. They have stable income which ensures the level of their life in general. They are well-educated, which means they are interesting to talk to and this is an important criteria for many modern women. They are also pretty handsome and have classic Scandinavian appearance which doesn’t leave girls all over the world indifferent.

So, let’s say, you want to date a danish guy. An obvious question is what you should to to make the relationship work? What about dating danish women? And what are danish dating traditions in general? We know how hard it could be to understand a culture you have never come in contact with before. To make sure you only get great experience of dating in Denmark, we collected the most important Scandinavian dating rules to know.

Rule №1: No gender roles

People all over the world are used to the fact that in dating there is a specific role for a woman to play as well as specific actions expected from a guy. Forget about it if you are going to date danish men.

What most women expect from dating, is courtesy. Guys are supposed to be the ones making the first move. They approach a woman they like, ask her out, take her phone number. Well, in Denmark it is not at all like this and girls have as many rights to address a nice guy as males do. It doesn’t mean that men don’t ever try to break the deal, but there is no need to expect that passive flirting is going to do the job.

As for courtesy, danish men, like those around whole Scandinavia, don’t really know what it is. They are not romantic in a classical sense of the word. Danish guys are not very initiative and prefer a woman to take the action into her own hands. So don’t expect fancy dinners or flower bouquets: for danes this is just unnecessary stuff.

In Denmark people appreciate equality in every sense, and that includes sharing a bill after a date.

And if you happen to appear on a restaurant date with a danish man, don’t think he is going to pay for you. In Denmark people appreciate equality in every sense, and that includes sharing a bill after a date. If you are a woman willing to date a dane, just bare with this fact, always be ready to split the check and don’t expect too many generous presents.

Rule №2: Never too much

Danish people appreciate moderation a lot. This both relates to the ways to spend dates and to appearance of both a danish person and their partner.

So dating a dane you will never get an extra unusual date. Unless you are so eager to have one that you organize it yourself. Danish guys prefer simple strolls in the park or meeting over a coffee. Or an evening in a bar with pizza and beer. But fancy restaurants with extravagant dishes and equally extravagant prices are not something danes prefer. It always feels like too much pressure and why put yourself under it?

While everywhere in the world women choose their date dresses for hours, suffer in uncomfortable high-heeled shoes and put on a ton of make up just to impress their partner, danish men will never force their partner into such appearance changes.

As for appearance, danes always look stylish and effortless. And if in case of any other nation you would assume that this is just a game to hide all struggles to look attractive, danes don’t care that much about their appearance. What helps them look their best is taking good care of themselves and choosing classical clothes. They lead active lifestyle, go to the gym and keep a healthy diet - as simple as that, but it is reflected in the look.

Having that said, it is worth mentioning that danish men expect the same from their girlfriends. While everywhere in the world women choose their date dresses for hours, suffer in uncomfortable high-heeled shoes and put on a ton of make up just to impress their partner, danish men will never force their partner into such appearance changes. In case it is not girl’s personal wish, she would impress a danish guy more by being an interesting interlocutor.

Rule №3: Directness is nature

All in all, no matter what gender you are, dating a dane you have to learn to be direct yourself too.

Danes don’t like to play with words. If they say something to you, you can be sure it is sincere and honest. For serious long-term relationship this is a perfect chance to always know enough about what is going on in your partner’s head. There will be no hiding the truth, no lies and in case something feels wrong for your significant other, you will be the first one to know about it.

On the other hand, such trait of character as total directness can sometimes be a disadvantage. You might have awkward situations when your partner shares whatever is on their mind. You will definitely get used to it with time, but at first such straightforwardness wouldn’t feel right.

And advice for guys who want to date danish girls: keep your compliments for a better time. As being direct is so much appreciated, your words about the most beautiful lady in the whole world and the one and only to love won’t have the effect you expect. They seem to pretentious and just don’t feel sincere.

You can’t be late in Denmark. Not for a minute. If you are late, your date will pretend that this is not a big deal, but they will harbor an insult. If you yourself are expecting a visit, then meet him or her at the door minute by minute - everything should be ready to the time.

All in all, no matter what gender you are, dating a dane you have to learn to be direct yourself too. The only thing which is often hard to understand is a thin line between being honest and being rude. Saying unpleasant things all the time is not the same as discussing the problem directly.

Rule №4: No strangers allowed

Danish people are not big fans of commiting to total strangers. This is why getting into relationships here takes a while.

Danes have nothing against casual hookups and one night stands. Meeting on a dating app and having a fun night is a pretty common things for danes to do. But such affairs don’t usually go much further than that.

Just don’t hurry up and take things slowly. This will definitely pay off in a long run. 

So if you want to get involved into a serious affair with a dane, start by becoming their friend. It doesn’t matter where you meet: in reality or on a danish dating website. Just don’t hurry up and take things slowly. This will definitely pay off in a long run. But in case you already have a friend in common, it will raise your chances of success. Danish people trust those who their nearest and dearest already know, so it will be much easier to draw attention to yourself.

If the Danes invite you to their home for dinner, take the flowers with you or send it immediately after receiving an invitation. Such things are a good way to show respect and tell them that the invitation is a pleasure for you. They're very open and welcoming in their houses, it is a very basic thing in all the Scandinavian cultures. But you have to answer to such hospitality gratefully. They deeply appreciate sincere gestures, so take a bottle of wine or some good beer with you. Also your own national drinks are a good choice, as dahish people enjoy little drops of foreign cultures.

Rule №5: Time is gold

There is nothing more rude than being late without warning your danish significant other about such possibility.

Dating in Denmark is impossible without valuing the time of a partner. Danes are extremely punctual and once they agreed on meeting at a certain time, they would never forget it. Moreover, they think it is best to come ten to fifteen minutes earlier, so that a date will not be waiting for long. And there is nothing more rude than being late without warning your danish significant other about such possibility.

That doesn’t only concern short-time arrangements. If you need a trustworthy pal to go travelling during your holidays, choose a dane and you won’t regret it. They don’t need to be reminded about your common plans all the time. Once you agreed on a date of a trip, danish people get prepared to it and are there at the airport or at the railway station even a little bit earlier than the time agreed.

Rule №6: There is nothing better than a good conversation

As mentioned before, danes don’t really pay attention to appearance of their partner. But what they do pay attention to is their inner world. So in order to have successful relations with a dane you have to be comprehensively competent.

Danish people are often interested in international issues, politics, economics, so it is perfect to have an understanding of this things as well. 

Danish people are often interested in international issues, politics, economics, so it is perfect to have an understanding of this things as well. But cultural development of a person is not less valuable: you have to know what to say about literature, cinematography, visual art and history.