Dating is a joy. But at the same time, it is a lot of stress when it comes to preparation for meeting a partner. How to leave the best impression after one date only? What if the person you are meeting with will think you are weird or not like you at all? These thoughts can be truly overwhelming and distract from actually getting ready. So many men and women come to the first date being too nervous, having chosen an uncomfortable outfit and thinking too much about the future rather than being present. It happens not only with young daters but also with people dating over 30: we all sometimes feel strange and insecure while meeting new people.
If you are familiar with such issues, you know that the most helpful thing in that case is advice. First up, you want to hear some words of encouragement from your parents or friends. Then, the real experience of others who have been in such a situation also does a great job. And finally, sometimes specialist’s advice is just what gives confidence about success. In this article, we gathered the most important dating advice you need and suggest looking through it if you are feeling vulnerable and bring some of it to action.
Mother & father
Your parents only want the best for you. What they can also do is share their own thoughts about marriage and relationships – and they ended up being together for life, right? That means a lot. We collected some pieces of advice that parents often give when it comes to first dates:
- Choose a place you are comfortable in. If you think the best idea will be just spending some time next to each other not talking too much, go to the cinema. On the other hand, if you feel fine about discussions, wander around a park or hang in a café;
- Be yourself. Don’t be ashamed of showing your real personality. There is nothing wrong in loving who you are and expecting the same treatment from others;
- Set your boundaries. You might have certain principles you don’t want to break. Think about it before the date. Don’t give them up in order to have a person like you.
They are also always on your side and wait for you to finally find the love of your life. As they are people of your age, they probably understand enough about modern dating and can give good advice and support. Here is what friends generally think is great for a first date:
- Bring on that look. You sure want to impress your partner, but not be “over the top” at the same time. Dress up a little bit, but choose the things appropriate for the occasion. You don’t want to come to a coffee shop in a fancy dress, neither wearing crazy high heels when watching horse racing is a good idea;
- Enhance your best traits. Makeup and clothes can help in this matter as well. A dress should flatter you and show off the best parts of your body while covering the insecurities. Some cosmetic items can help you cover blemishes on your skin or make your eyes and lips seductive and tempting;
- Be confident. That is something that makes people gravitate towards you as if you are a magnet. Nothing is more beautiful than a person who knows their value.
What your friends can share as well is their own experience and things that they think bring them success in the eyes of the opposite gender. People in their twenties and even thirties pay a lot of attention to appearance – and this is the first thing for judgement when you have just met a person. Therefore a common piece of advice is to make the most out of your look. Young people think it is important to shower and shave right before a date, straighten – or curl – your hair (whatever suits your look more) and use a tiny bit of eau de toilette.
Finally comes the part for those who earn their living by helping others find their happiness. There are several spheres we can address here.
First things first, experts claim it is extremely important to set a goal you want to eventually meet. There are no way relationships can develop a satisfactory way if there are no intentions whatsoever. Is it just a casual affair you are looking for? Maybe it is a one night stand? Or it can be that you are tired of a constant search and want a person to finally settle with? Think about it beforehand and be sure you are leaving the right impression of your future plans so that nobody is confused or disappointed.
Once you meet a person, especially if the one you got to know through a dating app or website, it is natural to compare the look to the photos in their profile.
Another thing dating experts tell us is to focus on the inner world rather than appearance. Once you meet a person, especially if the one you got to know through a dating app or website, it is natural to compare the look to the photos in their profile. But that is not everything a person is about. You have to find some topics to communicate about, align your goals and look for ways to spend time together – that is what your communication will be based around.
Psychologists are people you come to when seeking a solution for certain problems arising. You trust them and want them to fix your life and relationships. What they say is that it is easy to find out whether the communication will be a success or not yourself. Certain red flags psychologists recommend to avoid are:
- Disrespect to your opinion – opposite views are fine unless one of you tries to force them on the other;
- Disrespect to your friends and relatives – possessive relationships are not pleasant at all and if you notice that your partner tries to isolate you and become exclusive it is better to break up;
- Petty lies – if at some point a feeling of dishonesty appears, be sure to ask your partner straightforwardly. You will see it if they are trying to hide something;
- Trying to change each other – terrible relationships often start with persuading a partner to make little changes but is never enough and at some point constant quarrels can be the only thing left.