Where The Difference Between Being In Love With Loving Someone Lies

Is there actually any difference between loving someone special and being in love? For most people it definitely is: some people might say it’s obvious and there’s nothing complicated in distinguishing one from the other while many other people are confused in what they feel and how to describe it. It becomes even more complicated when people think about what their partners feel about them: in the very beginning of a relationship these hesitations and doubts can influence the attitude and emotions a lot. It’s extremely hard to be realistic when you’re full of emotions and affection and that’s why it’s so important for both partners to understand at what stage of their relationship they are.

  • Zah, 40
    Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
  • Mido, 40
    أبو ظبي, United Arab Emirates
  • Patti, 29
    Barranquilla, Colombia
  • Adam, 35
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
  • Fang-Florence, 46
    Shenzhen, China
  • Yulia, 42
    Kyiv, Ukraine
  • Silvina, 47
    Los Angeles, USA
  • Jack, 50
    Los Angeles, USA
  • SMARTGIRL , 42
    Nigeria, Seychelles
  • Vasilina, 35
    Paris, France
  • Paddymi , 28
    Nigeria , Seychelles
  • Samantha, 25
    Medellín, Colombia

There are thousands of songs, movies and books which have been created to praise love: they describe excitement connected with the beginning of the amazing experience or pain caused by relationship problems or breakups. Mass media and modern culture are filled with it: love and being in love are feelings that most people experience in their lives at least once and therefore these songs and movies are extremely relatable for them. In our modern world love is basically everywhere and it’s spoken about so much that sometimes it seems that the whole world is only about love and that’s the main priority people have. People of all ages experience and glorify love: even though teenagers might experience love and being in love differently from older people, that’s still love - a great and powerful thing which changes people and has a great influence on them.

It’s pretty obvious that there are differences between being in love and loving someone special and sometimes this difference is very big: comparing these two things is like comparing a flower and a tree. Even though sometimes all the media describing love tell us that both of these things are great, powerful and might mean the same sometimes, it’s not true for many reasons. Sometimes being in love feels like an enormous avalanche which can demolish everything in its path, but it’s still not love no matter how big it is. People learn the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone to know what’s happening in your relationships and what to expect in advance.

Discussing love and being in love no one can say that one thing is better than another one - they are just different and\or often portray different stages of relationships or affection. Love is often seen as the end of the way, the final destination which can’t be improved or changed into anything bigger: love is love, and people usually use this word to describe a connection which combines mutual respect, mental connection, passion and care. All these things create an image of perfection which can’t become even better. Being in love is like a sprout which can potentially grow into something much bigger and even become love in the end. At the same time, the range of emotions can be so great that lots of inexperienced people can easily confuse whether they experience love or being in love.

Love vs Madly In Love

a young couple looking in each others eyes

Even though for most people it’s hard to distinguish the distinction between these two things, there are still some features which can help you to identify what you actually feel. It can be extremely important for people who like planning their future and feel very stressed when they can’t control the situation or feel they don’t know some pieces of the puzzle. When you are full of emotions and desire it’s hard to be objective and that’s the time some people can make lots of mistakes by making decisions too fast. There are hopeless romantics who can marry a person they are in love with after a week of being together, so there’s no surprise that most people want to be sure about what they’re doing and why.

The fact is that being in love doesn’t turn into love in a second: it takes time to grow and become powerful and pure. But even though it takes time to grow, the understanding might come suddenly.

One of the things which makes it difficult to understand the distinction between these two amazing things is the fact that being in love with a person can evolve in real love and this process of moving from one to another might be very confusing. The fact is that being in love doesn’t turn into love in a second: it takes time to grow and become powerful and pure. But even though it takes time to grow, the understanding might come suddenly: one moment you might look into your partner’s eyes and understand that it’s serious - maybe even much more serious than you used to think before.

Remember that both love and being in love are excellent: these are feelings we seek because they make us feel alive, they make us powerful and fearless and give us more reasons to wake up in the morning and smile. Even though they are different, you shouldn’t underestimate any of them: the most important fact is that they make you happy. Being in relationships is not about running to the highest point: it’s about enjoying the process of getting there, so whether you’re in love or loving someone you shouldn’t worry - enjoy your being with a person you like so much and be happy. These are some things which can help you to distinguish the difference whether it’s love or in love:

  • Being in love with someone is a feeling which usually appears in the very beginning of a relationship. A “love from the first sight” concept is extremely close to being in love: you suddenly feel a giant wave of feelings and passion and you can think only about the amazing person you’re in love with. Loving the person is usually not so intense: you feel less passion and can think with your head being clear and sane but the feeling is much stronger and stable. Loving someone is deep and humble and it doesn’t change because of your mood and routine;
  • Another thing that differs these two things is that being in love can fade away over time. It’s hard to feel intensive and bright emotions all the time and passion also tends to become not that prominent. It’s not a bad thing because it’s natural and happens with everyone: all the rom-coms are as far from reality as other movies are. At the same time, love grows over time: you learn and understand the person more and more and feel mental and emotional connection which is not based on bald passion anymore - there’s something bigger behind love which makes it permanent;
  • When you’re both in love you tend to spend most of your time together: you want to be close to each other every spare minute of your time and it seems that you can never get enough of it. When you love, you’re not codependent anymore: you know that you like spending time together but both of you still need some personal space and time to do your own things and hobbies and your partner feels the same way. You don’t need to see your partner every minute to be confident and be able to concentrate on things around;
  • Being in love is passionate and full of emotions, but lack of stability can result in a sudden end of feelings and breakup. It's not like it can happen in a second, but even a little moment can disappoint partners and make them rethink their feelings. While love is based on mutual respect and understanding and therefore is able to live long even when people argue and fight, being in love is passion-driven and can crack in the first difficult moment of the relationship. When you love someone, you solve the problems together but when you’re in love, you tend to do everything on your own;
  • The feeling of love makes you prone to idealizing your partner. You’re absolutely stunned by how beautiful, smart, witty and cheerful the person is; you can think and speak about the person for hours and it also seems to you that it’s almost unbelievable that such an amazing human being even exists. When you love someone, you know that no one is perfect and it's perfectly fine. Knowing they have flaws doesn’t make you love them less - it brings you the understanding that you both are not sacred but still love each other;
  • Being in love usually means that you’re open to possible serious relationships and look forward to seeing what it can bring you in your common future. You basically stay close to an open door before entering a serious period of your life; at the same time, loving someone means that you’re into serious relationships and you have already entered the room. Being in love can grow into love but it can’t go back: these are two steps towards mutual happiness and a common future you might have.

Love or in love: Tips on how to understand your real feelings

an interracial couple laughing and having fun together

These are some tips on how to understand what you feel:

  • Do you actually idealize your boyfriend or girlfriend? If you see no flaws in them and think that this person is excellent in everything, then it might mean you’re madly in love;
  • Do you always think about your girlfriend or boyfriend? If it’s hard for you to concentrate on work and routine and you can’t do almost anything which you normally do, then you’re probably in love. The famous feeling like there are butterflies in your stomach is a very important sign too;
  • Are you super sensitive and feel the emotional lift which makes you smile all day long? Do you ignore minor life problems and difficulties because they seem too small and unimportant because of the attraction you experience? If the answer is yes, then you’re probably in love;
  • Do you need to be around all the time? If their presence influences your emotions a lot and you forget about your personal time completely because you can sacrifice almost everything to spend a few more hours with them - then you’re in love;
  • Are you afraid that a person you are into will know everything about you and their feelings might change? If you pretend to be someone better than you are or think you can’t really be your real self with them - then you’re in love. Love knows that you’re not perfect and neither are they but you still love: you don’t need to pretend anymore and you are confident about the relationship.
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