Fine as good old wine: what dating older women is like

Love is unpredictable and amazing: sometimes it’s surprising how different the partners might be but they still manage to be happy together. While there are lots of unusual couples made by people belonging to different religions, races, professions and social status, there also are couples with a significant age gap in them. Even though they are formed by adults who know what they want and mature enough to make decisions for themselves, there are still lots of people being judgemental towards them and their relationships. It’s hard to imagine an article or an Instagram post with a couple where one partner is clearly older than the other one without seeing edgy comments like “Is it your mother\father?” below. That’s why people create hashtags like #husbandnotdad or #agegaplove and use them while posting: they try to fight stereotypes and show the world that love is not tightly bound with age.

  • Ximei, 33
    Beijing, China
  • Monica, 29
    São Paulo, Brazil
  • Noah, 48
    Sydney, Australia
  • Julieth, 28
    Bogotá, Colombia
  • Bert(晓波), 52
    Shanghai, China
  • Zhara F. , 31
    Venezuela , Venezuela
  • Natalia, 23
    Odessa, Ukraine
  • Valentino , 41
    New York, USA
  • Vicka, 36
    Alanya, Turkey
  • Juliet, 30
    Shanghai, China
  • Mary🥑, 25
    Lagos, Nigeria
  • Nina, 43
    Odessa, Ukraine

When most people think about the age gap in relationships they imagine an old rich man dating his young “sugar baby”. There are lots of books and movies about this cliche: while some of them are about strong mental connection and young women who find their father-like protective boyfriends and stay with them, the others are about unhappy marriages or unreliable ladies who only want some cash from old men who are madly in love with them. A situation when a younger guy is attracted to an older lady is much rarer, but regardless of what the stereotypes say, men dating older women is also a pretty common thing. There are lots of examples both in the media and the real world, and even famous actors often have older partners who they love. For example, Hugh Jackman’s wife, Deborra-Lee Furness, is 13 years older than her husband and famous actress Kate Beckinsale also loves dating younger guys: a 20-year-old age gap is not a problem for such a gorgeous lady she is.

Of course, the cases when older women are dating younger women are not that rare too: there are lots of examples not only around the world but also in the world of celebrities. For instance, Ellen DeGeneres’s wife, Portia de Rossi, is 15 years younger than Ellen, and actress Sarah Paulson is in a relationship with Holland Taylor who is 31 years older than she is! It shows us that older women dating younger women is a pretty common thing: they tend to have great mutual understanding, respect and mental connection based not only on the romantic or intimate side of a relationship but also friendship and common interests. Age is just age when partners are truly interested in each other and love spending time together.

Some people might say that younger people date their older partners only for money, but that’s not true. Mature people indeed tend to be more reasonable and sensible with finances, but there are not only celebrities who date younger partners. It’s pretty common for couples to have a 5-7 year gap between partners and it’s not even that noticeable most of the time. When the age gap in relationships is bigger it’s often clearly seen for people around but it doesn’t stop partners from dating who they like and want to be with. Not everything in this world is based on money and profit: sometimes people are just in love.

Older women looking for younger partners is not a fetish or something worth judging: tastes differ and people tend to seek different things in their relationships. While some people are mostly interested in sex and adrenaline, the others are looking for understanding, care and stability. Often life experience brings intelligence and even wisdom, and that’s why many older partners are attractive and valuable for people who love them.

Why some younger men prefer dating attractive older women

a mature woman is smelling a flower

Even though there is a well-spread stereotype about men who only need sex with young and model-looking naive ladies, there are lots of good guys who are not that shallow. It’s not surprising that sex is not enough: youth is a treasure which goes off constantly. While many people often tend to underestimate the importance of being in their 20s and 30s and lose lots of opportunities in life, the others overvalue their youth and forget that time is ruthless. Investing in your intelligence and skills makes you a much more appealing, attractive and charismatic person regardless of how old you are, and people involved in age gap relationships know that well.

Lots of older women seem attractive for younger men just because of the amazing qualities they have which often come only with experience.

Men tend to have a lot of needs which are common for everyone: they also want to be cared for, loved and understood. Lots of older women seem attractive for younger men just because of the amazing qualities they have which often come only with experience. It doesn’t mean that they only need “mommies” to take care of them - they just want to date ladies who value their pros and tolerate their cons. While lots of younger ladies don’t know exactly who they are and what they want from their lives, older women are certain about their social status, goals and interests. They are simply more mature: being with a partner who is self-confident and aware of how to solve most of the issues is priceless.

For a man, having an older woman for dating might be an extremely valuable experience: it can be a period of their lives or a long-term serious relationship which can possibly lead to marriage. Whether dating older ladies is something which constantly turns them on or it’s just one special woman who they’re in love with, men value these relationships and things they can learn from them. There are some qualities which younger men like the most in their partners:

  • The first undoubtful advantage of age gap dating is that older women are noticeably more experienced and wise than younger ladies. They’ve already gone through many relationships and remember their lessons: they read people around and see their features and intentions. It’s true that lots of people can be blinded by their emotions and affection, but in general older women tend to be less naive and emotionally unstable. In younger\older relationships there are fewer fights and arguments too: these women value themselves and behave humbly in difficult situations too. Finally, they are more experienced in sex and their libido is often pretty high;
  • It goes without saying that older women are caring and affectionate. Many of them tend to have maternal behaviour: they want their men to be well-fed, well-dressed and delightful. They are great listeners and also can give great advice in most difficult situations. While younger girlfriends might dislike their roles as potential housewives, older ladies know that being able to care for themselves and the house they live in is essential for every person whether you’re married or not. Many of them also can cook delicious dishes and have nothing against creating a “comfort zone” for their boyfriend having a terrible day;
  • They have character and personality. Of course, many younger ladies have personality too, but many of them also tend to hesitate and change over time. When you’re pretty young, you improvise and experiment with who you are, so your character is often unstable and depends on situations and society. When you’re a bit older, you need no masks any more: you’re well-aware of who you are, what pros and cons you have, what your likes and dislikes are. Sometimes the difference between dating young and older partners is like the tiny difference between cheap fake popular Eau de Toilette and old-fashioned but stylish and extremely expensive perfume. Tastes differ;
  • They know what men like: it goes from tasty dishes and cold beer in the fridge to their disarming femininity. Older ladies know that while all men are unique, in some aspects, they are all absolutely the same: they love their ladies being feminine and caring, sporty, fresh and happy. Many older women tend to combine all these qualities and even more, which is why the feeling of love appears sooner;
  • Another obvious reason is that older women are often more passionate than younger ones. Sex becomes much more valuable when you’re older: youth is often associated with sex, freedom and attractiveness, and young people in that age often imagine being 35+ as being extremely old and too tired of everything. It’s not true: older ladies like dating younger partners because of their drive and energy and their own libido is often pretty high. Therefore they value their opportunity to have sex more often and don’t use intimacy as a tool to achieve their goals;
  • Last but not least - older women are intelligent. Their experience makes them interesting and well-read, they know much more than younger girls and their conversations tend to be much deeper and informative. Their life experience makes them not only lovers but great friends and companions for men: while young ladies think about fashion and popular shows, older ladies can discuss politics and independent cinematography. It’s never boring with an intelligent mature older lady: they are not bored with themselves because they usually know more about everything in the world and how it works.
  • Why older women are ready for younger men dating

    a mature asian woman is posing outdoors

    While for men dating older women is usually based on their experience and passion, women tend to seek for other things. Even though many young men are pretty experienced in dating already, it’s not their advantage: many skills need to be time-tested before being called useful. At the same time, it goes without saying that every age is precious: older women date their young and passionate lovers because they have qualities which start to be extremely valuable when you’re older. Just like anything else, they can be lost when a person becomes older, so ladies value these qualities a lot.

    Young guys are hot-tempered and reckless: it’s attractive and sexy, but it’s still not enough.

    It’s not that hard to understand why older women seem attractive for men who are younger. They portray passion, experience and intelligence: just like a cliched crush for a sexy teacher in high school, it has been there for a long time already. Another important question sounds like that: why do older women like younger men? Yes, they are attractive and strong, but we all know that appearance is not everything that women crave: they are mostly into understanding, mental connection and sensitivity. Young guys are hot-tempered and reckless: it’s attractive and sexy, but it’s still not enough.

    Older women looking for single younger partners is not nonsense: there are lots of reasons why they prefer dating people who are less experienced but full of energy. These people can make our lives bright and colourful, they bring back passion and interest in life. There are also some valid reasons why experienced mature ladies fall for young guys:

    • They actually are active and full of life. Most of the young men are energetic, they still have dreams and goals, they are full of ideas and it’s hard for them to stay at one place for a long time. It’s attractive: these people tend to bring to life all people around them. Older ladies like these men not only because it’s fun but also because they feel young and energetic around them: while older partners are experienced and often kinda cynical about the world, young guys tend to be more naive, kind and pure. They are more sincere as well, and these qualities are a great base for creating romantic and passionate relationships;
    • They are attractive - and there’s no need in arguing about that. Young guys of all generations tend to be stylish and appealing: they are slim or\and sporty, they are confident and well-aware of their handsomeness, so it’s hard to overestimate their attractiveness. Many modern men are also self-confident enough to approach, and this fact fastens the relationship a lot. Even though many young ladies and guys have complexes, they are often seen as very beautiful and handsome by older people: their faces and bodies are actually full of youth, health and attractiveness, but they just can’t get it and value it a lot. While youth tend to chase trends and fashion, older people see the picture more global and value every little imperfection their younger partners have;
    • Their attitude is respectful. It might be a part of the upbringing when young people demonstrate respectful attitude towards older people or it might be just understanding that these older people are more experienced and wise than they are, but the understanding that your partner actually listens to you and respects your opinion is amazing. When both partners are approximately the same age, they are on the same level: in the age of equality, it’s hard to imagine over-patriarchal couples living in one of the Western countries. When it comes to age-gap-relationships, it’s tightly bound with respect and understanding that the elder partner probably knows much more than the other one. Being heard and understood is fascinating, so older ladies are into younger guys;
    • They listen for their opinions. It might look like a part of the previous line, but it’s important to highlight it once again. A same-age partner of an older lady is probably as experienced and well-read as she is, but much more self-confident and reserved at the same time. When two mature people have different opinions, it’s hard to find compromises all the time: people sometimes just stand their ground and avoid thinking about the fact they might be wrong. It’s hard to tolerate people who value only their own opinion, so it’s much easier and more comfortable to date someone who is open for a dialogue. Whether the topic is a movie they’re about to watch or place to go out tonight, younger\older partners can always discuss what they think of it and listen to each other carefully;
    • Younger men who are in love with older women are not shallow. Yes, they are often attracted to their femininity and beauty, they dream of being with someone who's smarter and wiser than they are, and sometimes it can even be their little fetish. But it’s hard to disagree that sexuality and attractiveness can be easily found in younger girls as well: more than that, this kind of relationship would be much less judged and disapproved by society. The answer is that guys who are into older women know they date them not only because of their feminine stylish appearance or the intimate side of relationships. They seek reasonable, intelligent and confident partners who know their strengths and weaknesses, who are convinced about their place in this world and who are exciting to speak with. It’s not about sex at all: after you go out of the bedroom, you need to speak about something, but if your partner is shallow and reserved, the conversation goes wrong. A guy who loves his older partner knows all the “cons”, but he’s still with her - and that’s the most important thing for their relationships.
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