What Holding Hands Can Say About Your Relationship

The language of love might be different for people belonging to various cultures and having their customs and traditions. At the same time, there are lots of things which are common for most people in the world: people love kissing and hugging their partners and they love holding hands too. Even though it’s seen as inappropriate to do it in public in many traditional countries, the youth holding hands with their boyfriends and girlfriends can be often seen everywhere in the Western world.

  • Marc, 43
    Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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  • Valentina, 30
    Bogotá, Colombia
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  • Ysabel, 44
    Bogotá, Colombia
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  • Samantha, 25
    Medellín, Colombia
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  • Irina, 42
    Helsinki, Finland
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  • Emma, 24
    Medellín, Colombia
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  • Veronika, 29
    Kyiv, Ukraine
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  • Sarah, 32
    Manila, Philippines
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  • Yulia, 41
    Kyiv, Ukraine
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  • Ding Haijun, 41
    China, China
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  • Mariia, 37
    Berlin, Germany
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  • Vallerie, 29
    Cebu City, Philippines
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People who are in love have lots of ways to show their affection and care. Compliments, little presents, hugs and kisses are common while dating and relationships whether you’re young or mature. People need to feel loved and they want to show their emotions and feelings too. That’s especially common in the very beginning of relationships when people feel excited and mad about their new partners. Young couples love holding hands all the time: people need physical contact and interaction with their beloved ones to feel happy and important.

Every gesture and intonation is extremely important for people who are in love: they can clearly see their partner’s intonation slightly changing, their mimics and words they choose can also say a lot about feelings and emotions people have. The same goes with holding hands as well: people put different meaning into this action and different ways to do so also says a lot about how people communicate and what type of relationships they have. Also, men and women sometimes hold their partner’s hands with different purposes: they might express tenderness, affection, they might be possessive and nervous, they may require support and understanding. There are some tips on how to understand what holding hands might mean in different situations.

What holding hands means to a guy and what it means to a girl

a couple holding each others’ hands

Even though the language of love is usually pretty common for everyone, lots of men and women tend to express their emotions and feelings a bit differently. It’s usually based on their upbringing and stereotypical gender roles in society: while men are often seen as strong and protective, women are more tender, caring and affectionate. Therefore, even if these stereotypes are often wrong, people might see different undertones in what they do.

Women see the gesture as a sign of love and care, but also it means that a guy wants to show the world his woman. “Look, she’s with me” - says the gesture.

Every woman knows the feeling when a guy holds your hand: women see the gesture as a sign of love and care, but also it means that a guy wants to show the world his woman. “Look, she’s with me” - says the gesture. Even though many women dislike being objectified, they love the feeling when their boyfriend is proud to show the world his lady. Women also feel protected and cared for when men hold their hands: staying close to their beloved man and feeling his strong hand makes them confident and relaxed.

Even though men are often not big fans of holding hands the main reason for that is the gesture being seen as too sweet and childlike. They often do that to please their women because they know how important it is for their ladies to do that. There are lots of exceptions: men hold their girlfriend’s hands because it’s tender, it shows how emotionally involved they are and how they are proud to be seen with their partners. Men holding a woman’s hand shows that he wants to protect her, he’s close to her and he’s taken: their hands interlaced together to symbolize their union.

Lots of women hold their men’s hands to show other women that their men are only theirs: that possessive behaviour is especially strong in jealous people who want to feel safe in public places where lots of other people are. In different new or scary situations, women also hold hands because it makes them more confident and relaxed: a strong hand of a boyfriend is something which shows her that everything will be alright. Also, couples hold hands to support each other in difficult times and to show each other they’re not alone: while they are together they can overcome everything.

Teenagers and young people are often more likely to hold hands in public because they seek physical contact and want to be as close as possible all the time. They are proud to tell the world about them having relationships with their partners: if the experience is pretty new for them, they are excited and loud in their happiness. They love doing everything together and their interlaced hands symbolize their deep emotional connection.

What different ways to hold hands reveal about relationships

a couple holding hands on a date

Even though holding hands is pretty symbolic itself, there are also different ways to do so. Couples unconsciously choose one of the ways to do so and sometimes it can also show their emotions, their type of relationship and also the strength of their emotional involvement. Just like shaking hands, it may vary by the firmness, tightness and position of hands while holding. You can often see overly emotional couples holding hands tightly and bored indifferent people interlacing their fingers lazily. It’s a great sign for people around which helps them to understand what happens in their personal lives:

  • Down-facing palms are often seen in relationships based on love and affection more than just blind passion: these people are humble, confident and not too defiant. They don’t need some reasons to love each other - their love is unconditional. A person placing their hand facing downward is usually seen as a leader: the person whose hand is the first is usually more initiative, decisive and it also can be a sign of their strong personality. This person is usually a man but there are exceptions too;
  • Interlaced (or interlocked) fingers symbolize passion and strong mental connection. These people are always together and want to show the world they are in a relationship: two people lacing their fingers tightly want to be close to each other every moment of their time spent together. At the same time, when one partner’s hand is too loose it’s a bad sign: that may mean the person is not really involved in a relationship when the second partner tries to do what they can to make things work;
  • The one-finger hold is a symbol of being respectful for each other’s personal space. These couples might also be in the middle of a difficult period of their relationship: at least one of partners might feel they are not emotionally connected anymore and should be friends, not partners;
  • Two hands holding one hand is a sign of relationships growing bigger and stronger. At the same time, it might show one person is not confident enough: they might try to “hide” behind their partner’s back when they feel insecure. Also, it might signalize that one of the partners is jealous and their possessive attitude shows;
  • When someone is pulling their partner’s hand people can clearly see that people are not equally involved in what’s happening at the moment. They are not in the same place and one person is too pushy or too initiative: their partner has to submit and follow the other person’s will. It’s not a good sign as well: even a very patient person has their limits and one day they’ll probably stop it;
  • A loose grip usually means that partners don’t know each other well and just try to start a contact. This type of holding hands is cautious and tender, it doesn’t show strong passion or possessive thoughts. Also, it casually shows the others that a person is taken;
  • Linked arms are formal and serious: it’s a type of holding hands couples use on public events and meetings. Therefore, it’s usually considered that it’s a strong man with his woman who’s seeking his protection and tries to be confident close to him. Of course, it’s not always like that: nowadays lots of celebrities and famous people hold their partner’s hands like that on public and it’s not a symbol of inequality anymore;
  • When a couple is not holding hands in the very beginning of a relationship it often means that one of the partners is not really interested in that relationship at all. When the relationship is stable and long-lasting it might mean the partners have lost a bit of their passion and prefer to have a bit of personal space wherever they are. But that’s alright: couples don’t need to be passionate all the time: their mutual respect and mental connection are much more important for their common future.

As you might see, there are different ways to decrypt what holding hands mean in different types of relationships. Even though sometimes it’s true, there are lots of exceptions: people have different social and internal conditions, they might be too tired or distracted to hold hands tightly, they might be fighting or they just don’t care about holding hands at all. Remember that some people are pretty shy and they act pretty reserved and unconfident in public which can also be seen in their gestures. Some people find it different to analyze what they see and decode different “signs” they see in relationships around them: it might be fun but often is pretty far from reality.

Remember that some people are pretty shy and they act pretty reserved and unconfident in public which can also be seen in their gestures.

Also, if you’ve recognized your case in some of the ways of holding hands, remember not to panic and not to pay too much attention to that: your situation is unique anyway and you know your relationship much better anyway. Even though anything can be decoded and analyzed, it’s up to you to decide whether it describes your relationship or not. So relax, hold hands with your beloved one and enjoy your time together!

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