Attract your crush

People of different ages, views, nationalities and preferences fall in love all over the world: it’s hard to find someone who has never been in love in their life. Being in love is an exceptional experience: people don’t only feel notorious butterflies in their stomachs but also see the world around them in brighter colours. While some people feel miserable because of their unrequited love, the others feel like they have powers to change the world and are fulfilled with optimism and energy. There are so many things around us which are connected with love and relationships that it’s almost impossible to spend a day without hearing or reading anything connected with romance: it’s an exceptional part of our life and culture, so even people who suffer because of their bad love experience can’t get distracted from it.

  • Daniela 🤍, 34
    New Orleans, USA
  • Vicka, 36
    Alanya, Turkey
  • Lucio, 44
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
  • Irina, 42
    Helsinki, Finland
  • Julieth, 29
    Bogotá, Colombia
  • Gene, 36
    Shanghai, China
  • Marc, 43
    Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
  • Ahlam, 30
    Tunisia, Tunisia
  • Donato, 44
    Madrid, Spain
  • Queen, 24
    NHS, Nigeria
  • Emma, 24
    Medellín, Colombia
  • Vallerie, 29
    Cebu City, Philippines

While some people interested in having relationships don’t know their potential partners yet, the others are interested in attracting a specific person they like. The idea of meeting a perfect partner who you can be truly happy with is not for everyone, but lots of people can unconsciously idealize their acquaintances or friends and dream of dating them. That’s why it’s so hard sometimes to approach or to make the first move and to let the person know that we like them. But what we actually want to do is to make the person like us too: we want it to be natural and real, so we’re interested in different ways to win their attention and heart. Lots of people are aware that it’s absolutely meaningless to pretend to be someone else to win a person’s love: if you’re into relationships but not just one-night stands then you definitely shouldn’t lie to your partner to create a good first impression because the truth usually becomes known pretty soon.

Being in love makes people do lots of amazing and unbelievable things: they become daring, risky, they are ready to do almost anything to attract the attention of their crush. It’s not only connected with youth: sometimes people who are dating over 30 can act like teenagers because of strong emotions they have. While romantic comedies often show us people doing incredible things in the name of love, in real life most people neither do nor actually need all these gestures to become liked by their crush. There are lots of easier ways to increase your chances with someone special: while some of them are based on psychological research and people’s experience, the others are simply logical and therefore useful. You can use any of them - just remember that the most important thing is to show your best sides while being real self. Though being in relationships with someone is hard work which requires lots of effort and it’s definitely not enough to get a person’s attention to succeed, it’s always better to try than to miss an opportunity.

Why it might be hard to attract their interest

an attractive dark man looks with suspicion

Though there are lots of people who are in love, not all of them have chances to be with people they like. There are so many books and songs connected with unrequited love that it’s easy to understand that there are many people all over the world having this problem: you can be an amazing person but simply not the type a person needs or wants to be with. At the same time, lots of people lose their chance only because they don’t try: low self-esteem and lack of an optimistic mindset can spoil your opportunity to be with someone you like. Some people prefer not to try at all because that guarantees them not to be rejected and leaves their heart unbroken by a person who doesn’t like them back - but it decreases their chances to succeed too. A person who doesn’t even try fails automatically - but it’s more appropriate for some people to do nothing while just dreaming of reaching their happiness with someone special. Unfortunately, there are not many movie-like situations when a sudden sparkle of chemistry appears between people who don’t even properly talk to each other: real love usually starts from mutual interests based not only on appearance but also traits of character and interests.

One of the biggest problems you might face while trying to attract your crush is your lack of confidence and shyness. Confidence is naturally magnetic: when we see confident people around we unconsciously assume that they are good at something, know or have more than the others and that brings them this confidence. That’s why sometimes women tend to make the first move: lots of guys dating American women admit that their confidence is attractive. Actually, it’s not always connected, but the way people behave, speak, joke and move when they are filled with confidence is extremely attractive for everyone. On the other side, a person who has no confidence often fails in different social situations and can’t present themselves even if they have the best cards. Though it’s often hard to overpower yourself, remember that bold confidence is half success.

Confidence is naturally magnetic: when we see confident people around we unconsciously assume that they are good at something, know or have more than the others and that brings them this confidence.

It’s pretty obvious that not everyone manages to have a relationship with every person they have feelings for: there are lots of situations when two people just aren’t compatible enough to start dating. We can like lots of very different people during our lives, but it doesn't mean that every person we fall for can be a great partner for us. Sometimes our hormones and romantic excitement make us blind to see that the person is not that flawless - or simply is too different from us. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you and your partner should be super similar: you still can have lots of interests and hobbies which you like doing separately, but two completely different people who date only because they are physically attracted to each other may break up pretty soon.

Tips on how to attract a specific person you like

a young african american couple is flirting in a library

It’s almost impossible to create a list of rules which can guarantee everyone’s success: we’re all unique and have different preferences, life situations, goals and views. While some people prefer casual and relaxed communication, the others love very conventional and based on gender roles behaviour while being on a date; some people dream of having a family and kids and want to have a partner with the same life goals while the others dream of finding the perfect companion to travel and to enjoy their life at its fullest. You really need to know a person a bit before deciding whether you actually want to date a person or not - but it’s always pleasant to attract their attention and to communicate a bit to learn their character and likes better.

Your communication with a nice person in a group of your friends and your communication with an attractive colleague should differ: behave and react appropriately and humble to stay natural and relaxed and look confident.

Lots of people agree that there are a few things which can actually help you to attract a specific person and make them like you. Some of these tips can actually not work with specific people: you need to know on a level high enough to be able to say whether a person would react to any of them and avoid doing things the person definitely won’t appreciate. Your communication with a nice person in a group of your friends and your communication with an attractive colleague should differ: behave and react appropriately and humble to stay natural and relaxed and look confident. Though your awkward behaviour can flatter the pride of your crush, it doesn’t mean that you should act silly or too strange: it’s true that some people find it cute, but most people prefer dating people who are confident, humorous, smart and bright. You might think that you don’t have some of these qualities - but make sure that your low self-esteem doesn’t talk instead of you.

Dating games are never easy, and approaching an attractive person can become a real headache for many people: no one likes being rejected because we all take it too personally and assume that we’re just not good enough for a person when we can be just different from what they want. At the same time, there’s nothing bad in putting an effort into making a person like you: it can become a smooth flirty game which can become a real affection later and result into a relationship. There are some things you should know about to increase your chances to be liked by a very special person:

  • Don’t try to pretend to be a perfect person you’re not - show your flaws instead. It might sound strange to some people but lots of people around dislike the idea of dating someone too perfect. A person with no flaws is often seen as plain and boring: your quirks, habits and strange interests form a great part of your personality and make you actually interesting and special. Also, people tend to sympathise to people who are honest about their fails and imperfections because it shows them that being imperfect is normal;
  • Try asking them for a small favour. That’s an old method of making someone like you: by asking a person to do a little thing you show them that you trust them, you like them enough to ask and you are sure in their ability to do that thing. Also, it means that you assume your relationship is close enough to ask for a favour, which makes a person think you’re actually close;
  • Try to spend a lot of time with them. That’s an obvious thing to do: when you have an opportunity to hang out in the same group of friends or to do something together - you should use it. That’s a great chance to communicate and to know each other better, so you can’t waste it. Common memories and activities make people mentally closer and can help them to become good friends - or even more;
  • Use social media to communicate and to be present in their newsfeed. Use Instagram or other media to be visible for the person you like: show your interests, hobbies and your life to the world, make jokes and have fun. Appearing in a person’s sight makes them remember about you and some pictures of your fun life can show them that you actually have lots of interests and friends and it's generally fun to spend time with you. That’s how you can have an opportunity to communicate with the person online and to agree to meet and spend time together;
  • Learn their sense of humour and laugh at their jokes. People love those who laugh at their jokes: they feel better about themselves and they feel sympathy for a laughing person in return. Laughing at the same jokes means having a similar sense of humour and tastes, which can also be seen as a nice reason to communicate more. By showing a person that you like their sense of humour you show your positive attitude towards them and you admit their intelligence and wittiness. People like those who make them feel smart and charismatic;
  • Go to the cinema and watch a horror film together. If you already communicate with a person you like, then try inviting a person to see a horror film together. Experiencing strong emotions can make you both much closer, it can create lots of common memories and a solid topic to discuss for a while. Also, if a person is a real fan of scary movies, then you can make it your own tradition to go to the cinema together: just like inner jokes, inner rituals can make people much closer;
  • Use psychological tricks: a cup of warm tea or coffee can help your crush to perceive you as a warm and pleasant person. Bring a cup of coffee to your crush: it will not only show them that you care but also will present you as a nice and friendly person who is pleasant to have around. There is some evidence that warm drinks can warm people’s hearts as well: you’ll be associated with something warm. pleasant and nice, which is a good thing;
  • Try wearing the same colours or consider trying a similar style of clothing they wear. If a person is interested in their style and wears an interesting style of clothing, then try dressing the same way or use the same colours as they do. A person’s outfit often shows their preferences and tastes, so if they like to wear some colours - then they will probably like people wearing them as well. This trick can help you to be seen as more stylish and attractive in the eyes of the person you like;
  • Try mimicking their behaviour and gestures. Though lots of people might not recognize that, a person who uses similar gestures, mimics and posture as they do is often considered more like-minded, attractive and therefore pleasant. Lots of people unconsciously like everything that reminds them about themselves, so use it;
  • Use tricks and pranks to become closer to them. It’s definitely not an option for everyone, but if you communicate in the same social group or have mutual friends, then it might be useful for you to use jokes and tricks to become closer. Of course, you should use king and smooth pranks which won’t traumatise the person or hurt their pride but will definitely make them remember you and think about you more often. Also, joke or hint on you liking them to see their reaction: if a person plays along and jokes similarly, then it’s a good sign for you. Don’t do it too often to avoid being seen as an intrusive person, but sometimes a little prank can make a person’s day;
  • Don’t hide your sensitive side. Though some people believe that everyone loves cold and unapproachable people, it’s actually important to feel that a person has a sensitive and emotional side. An emotionally mature person can potentially become a great friend or partner, so you shouldn’t pretend to be an iceberg to attract anyone’s attention. Also, if you have an opportunity to communicate with a person, then don’t be afraid to be seen as a bit too touchy: sometimes it’s even good to make them feel a bit guilty because it usually makes them more sensitive and warm with you. At the same time, don’t be too touchy;
  • Avoid being seen as a boring, pessimistic or negative person. That’s simple: people around don’t usually see all the depths of a person’s emotions and feelings when they are constantly sad or pessimistic. People like having energetic and interesting people around them, so create a positive impression about yourself;
  • Use your body language to appear more energetic and charismatic. Even a little half-smile or narrowed eyes can be seen as extremely attractive sometimes. Watch your posture and mimics, try to move dexterously and lightly and use your self-confidence to straighten your spine and shoulders. The way we move says a lot about us, so use it to create a great impression;
  • Take care of yourself and look your best. It’s easy to understand that even the deepest person needs to be attracted to a person to date them. Our tastes differ, but healthy and clean people are usually seen as more attractive and appealing to others. Think of your hairstyle and wardrobe, try to lose a bit of extra weight if you have any and take a shower regularly;
  • Look in their eyes and smile. A person looking into your eyes is often considered to be someone who can see your soul, so make eye contact while talking to a person. Smile to show your positive attitude but make sure that you don’t look creepy while doing that;
  • Change the pitch of your voice a bit. Women tend to make the pitch of their voices a bit higher when they speak to men they like, and men try to make their voices deeper to appear more masculine. Use this trick to be perceived as a more attractive person in your crush’s eyes. If you hear that the person you like changes their voice when speaking to you, then it might mean something;
  • Listen to what they want to say. It’s very important for people to be heard and to know that their opinions and thoughts are validated: a person who remembers lots of details about their favourite things and their tastes will be perceived as caring, sensitive and generally pleasant. Know more about the person’s interests not only to keep the dialogue with them but also to understand them better: you can use it as an opportunity to meet them in their favourite places sometimes and you’ll definitely know what present they would be happy to receive;
  • Avoid being intrusive. Though it’s important to be present in a person's life, don’t make it look like you stalk the person and cross their personal boundaries. If it seems incredulous that you accidentally meet a person all the time, like all their posts on Instagram and always try to start the dialogue when a person never initiates that by themselves - then it’s better to back off. Being too pushy can repel the person and give the opposite effect from what you hope to have;
  • Learn to love yourself and try to become more open. People who are self-aware and confident radiate happiness and are generally likeable to be around. You need to like yourself first to be appealing and pleasant because self-sabotage and hatred can limit your potential and kill your chances with them. Love yourself, show your best sides to the person you like and go for it!
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