For a person deeply interested in Japan it’s essential to be interested in Japanese dating culture as well. Even though Anime and Japanese films are far from reality, there is still something charming and extremely appealing about dating Japanese women and being a part of that far, but the alluring world. A lot of people who have never been interested in Anime or J-Rock or other stereotypical Japanese things are also interested in Japanese dating customs and traditions because of their wish to date a beautiful Japanese girl. Asian dating is extremely popular nowadays.
Even though in many ways Japanese dating is just like dating in any other country in the world, there are a lot of cultural differences which may lead to misunderstandings and other issues while communicating with Japanese people. There are a lot of things to learn and admit, but for those who are really determined not only to meet but also to make strong relationships with Japanese people there are no limits that could stop them. Dating.com gives you this essential information about Japanese dating which is worth knowing for everyone.
What you need to remember about Japanese dating
The Land of the Rising Sun is a unique place in many fields, and it has its customs and traditions, as well as generally accepted norms of behaviour which are not always clear for foreigners. Even though Western people are sometimes as exotic and attractive for Japanese people as Japanese people are captivating and mysterious for Westerners, it’s hard to be extremely charming without the basic knowledge of other country’s culture and its features. No one wants to be seen as an uneducated and uncouth cad, especially in a society as well-behaved and polite as the Japanese one. For a person wanting to find a partner it’s usually important to stand out favourably, but misbehaving usually doesn’t help with that at all.
The Land of the Rising Sun is a unique place in many fields, and it has its customs and traditions, as well as generally accepted norms of behaviour which are not always clear for foreigners.
There are special rules not only how to date in Japan, but also how to behave, how to act and so on, and even if it looks like it’s not that easy to understand a Mysterious Japanese Soul, there are some tips that will help you to get much closer to understanding. You’ll know what to expect while dating Japanese girls and what you should or shouldn’t do with them.
Communication can be a problem
Even if you know a little bit of Japanese, or if your partner speaks a little bit of English you\ll be able to communicate, but that would never be enough for two people having a serious relationship and planning to spend life together. More than that, it won’t be enough even for speaking about anything else except basic everyday things. It might not be a big problem during the short period of time in the very first beginning of the relationship, but it certainly will be later. To be able to communicate with your Japanese partner, try to learn Japanese as well as possible in advance. Remember that there might be a lot of awkward situations connected with your mistakes while speaking Japanese or their mistakes in English. Remember to support your partner and not to remind them about some embarrassing moments while learning: we all make mistakes, but it’s important to keep trying again and again and don’t take any failures too close to the heart.
Respect is the highest priority
Being respectful towards other people is the highest priority in society in general and it’s especially true for Japanese people. Those people learn how to behave and respect others from the youngest age, there are a lot of rituals and traditions which they need to remember and observe. Even if the foreigners are not expected to know and observe all of them, some incorrect or impolite actions will be seen on the Japanese background clearly.
Even though there are a lot of small details in which respect is very important, the most essential thing in Japan is to respect people. Ignorant, rude, loud and impolite people are absolutely not allowed in Japanese society. Learn the rules and customs of Japanese people before visiting the Land of the Rising sun, or it might be extremely difficult for you to find a local partner there.
Japanese people may seem cold for the Westerners
You might think that your Japanese girl is cold with you and doesn’t like you really much because she expresses very little emotions and behaves very reserved. In fact, she might be very much in love with you, but it’s considered inappropriate in Japan to demonstrate affection and strong emotions in public and at the very beginning of a relationship. A lot of people were raised to hold their emotions back and just smile politely even if there is a storm of emotions inside of them. Forget about anime scenes with openly screaming and shouting people, who demonstrate their feelings in a very expressive way - this rarely happens in real life because of the fear of being called “strange” or even “a psycho”. It’s extremely important for the Japanese people what others think of them and their reputation is something they absolutely don’t want to spoil.
It’s kinda hard to meet new people
For many Japanese people their regular routines are comforting and useful because it’s much easier to plan your day and free time when you have things you do regularly. At the same time, there are a lot of Japanese people who are too busy or tired to meet new people and find friends. A lot of people there usually communicate in their social group and all new people they meet are new people only if they are friends of their friends. The Japanese often are rather shy and reserved, so it’s pretty difficult for many of them to talk to strangers. Don’t expect a Japanese person to be very initiative and ready to get acquainted even if they really like you, so make the first move, but don’t be too pushy - they might not like it.
Remember to treat Japanese dating traditions with respect and be open to learning something new, and your Japanese dating will be great!
It’s much easier for men
Western people are usually considered very attractive in Japan, so it’s usually not so difficult for them to find someone interested in them and start dating. But there is one little issue: unfortunately, statistics say that it’s much easier for Western men to find Japanese girls for dating then vice versa. It’s hard to say exactly what’s the reason for such a phenomenon, so the most popular idea is in people’s personal preferences. At the same time, the high popularity of modern Japanese music like various J-rock bands provides Japanese men with lots of fangirls all over the world. So even if it’s hard to see a Western woman with a Japanese guy, it doesn’t mean that there is no chance. A little bit of charisma and personality - and everything is possible!
Maybe it’s not about the cultural differences at all
Just like in any other relationships, all misunderstandings and issues might not be a result of the cultural differences, but individual traits of people's’ character. Most of the problems can be solved just with a conversation and discussion of personal likes and dislikes. You shouldn’t blame another person’s culture in the first place: individual quirks still influence people’s relationships a lot.
Dating rules in Japan
There are some dating rules and traditions in Japan that are worth knowing for every foreigner dreaming of dating an attractive Japanese single there. Some of them are pretty close to the Western ones, some of them are rather unique and require some time to get used to it. Remember to treat Japanese dating traditions with respect and be open to learning something new, and your Japanese dating will be great!
Everything starts with a confession
One of the very first things a Japanese person does to start dating is a confession. The point is that by telling someone about your interest in someone you show them the seriousness of your feelings and intentions. It takes a lot of courage to be straightforward, so by doing that you prove that it’s not a fleeting love which ends in a few days.
If you’re interested in a Japanese girl, then tell her about your feelings, and if she feels the same, then that is going to be the beginning of your dating. Unlike Western dating, which might be started spontaneously, that’s a deliberate and serious step there.
Japanese people tend to get married pretty soon
Marriage is considered to be an essential step of almost every serious relationship in Japan. There is no tendency to live together for years without getting married or to date for a long time without any intentions to make a step towards a serious relationship. Japanese couples prefer a serious approach: if they are together and everything feels right, then it will probably result in marriage. Japanese men have more authority in their coworkers’ eyes when they are married, cause it shows their maturity and ability to take care of their family. Japanese women are very marriage-oriented as well, and many of them dream of becoming a wife pretty early. Most of the Japanese wives don’t work, so they look after children and are housewives while their husbands are breadwinners. Statistically, there are not so many women who dream of making a career instead of having a family or living their life freely on their own - the patriarchy is still pretty strong in Japan with its traditional view on many things. So if you have a Japanese partner who you have a serious relationship with, then she is probably sure you’ll get married later.
Meeting the partner’s family is extremely serious
One of the most important steps which signalise that there is a great probability of marriage is meeting with a partner's parents. To make a good impression on your love’s family is extremely important there because those people can end your relationship if they disapprove you: the Japanese people respect their parents very much and they always need to have a good reputation of their family and themselves, so if they think your relationship or possible marriage can ruin the reputation, then everything will be over. That’s why Japanese people are usually pretty nervous before meeting each other’s families (especially Japanese men, of course) and prepare for this meeting for some time. Japanese people prefer not to hurry, so it’s normal for them to start dating over 30 when they feel ready. So if your Japanese girlfriend wants you to have dinner with her family, then she probably wants to marry you.
You might hear “I love you” pretty early
Because of the “confession ritual” you might hear “I love you” pretty early - in fact, that may happen even before dating and be the reason you start going out. That’s all right: it doesn’t mean that the Japanese are careless or those words have no value there. Moreover, remembering about them being rather reserved and not expressing their affection too much, you won’t probably hear those words too often after you start dating. Just remember that words are only words, and Japanese people prefer to demonstrate their feelings by their actions and serious intentions towards you. There is no need in saying “I love you” constantly when it’s clear even without any words in Japan.
Sometimes you just need to read minds
Because it’s not common to demonstrate your love or to argue openly in Japan, there will be a lot of situations when you are expected to understand another person’s emotions and attitude without any words. Even if it seems extremely difficult not only to read minds in general but also to understand the attitude of a person who belongs to another culture, it’s possible to learn that skill one day. An understanding partner will admit your difficulties with adaptation to another country’s views and traditions and will lead you through a minefield of situations which are difficult to understand for a foreigner. When you try your best and show respect towards other people and your partner teaches you to understand the culture of a new country, then everything is going to be great.
In Japan between 60 and 70 % of men would prefer to pay on a first date because they want to make a person they like to feel relaxed and to have a great time together.
Split or not to split?
The question “Who should pay on a date” is pretty controversial not only in Japan but also all over the world. Even though it’s quite traditional for men to pay for everything, the world is changing constantly, and modern women often prefer to split the bill and pay for themselves on their own. It shows their independence, but what’s even more important - it makes them not obligated to give any intimacy to men after they were fed in a fancy restaurant.
In Japan between 60 and 70 % of men would prefer to pay on a first date because they want to make a person they like to feel relaxed and to have a great time together. At the same time, a lot of women would prefer to split the bills; it happens not only during the dating period but also while having serious relationships and even married couples sometimes don’t have their common budget. Because of that, some people might both pay, but not equally - a man asked about the bill might ask a girl to pay only a little part of the bill. That won’t hurt anyone’s egos and let you feel relaxed and not owing anything to anyone.
Date usually lasts all day
While Western people’s date usually lasts for a couple of hours and that’s it, Japanese people prefer to spend almost a whole day together, so be sure to choose a free day if you have plans to go out with your crush. The Japanese like spending their dates on festivals, in amusement parks, etc. If the date starts in the morning or noon, it usually ends in the evening, so a couple can spend a lot of time together. The Japanese are often pretty busy, so they can’t meet a few times a week, but if they have a free day, they want to spend most of it with the person they like. So don’t plan anything else on a day when you have a date and have a wonderful day with your partner.
Group dating is a thing
Japanese people like to have group dates - if you spend the whole day on a date, it’s usually much more fun to do it with friends. Two or even three couples spend time together, take the rides, eat out and enjoy the date in a good company. At the same time, if a relationship becomes serious, it’s not suitable for group dating anymore: from that moment it’s too personal to get other people involved. You still can meet your friends together, but those meetings won’t be considered romantic.
Online dating in Japan
Even though there are a lot of people who prefer meeting their potential partners offline, the increasing popularity of online dating is a thing in Japan as well as in Western countries. For busy and shy Japanese people it’s much easier to find a partner online than to find new friends in the real world. That approach of finding a partner is even more comfortable for the Japanese who are interested in dating foreigners. The usage of dating platforms help people avoid a lot of troubles while the knowledge of Japanese language is not very good and most of the communication before meeting in person.
Dating.com gives the users a perfect opportunity to find their perfect Japanese partner online. Our service provides secure and private matching and online dating for lonely hearts looking for their love. Whether you want to find a local person for friendship, dating and serious relationships or a person from another country, it’s extremely easy:
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