How to understand if your dating is mature or not

Dating is amazing: from the very first dating experience to later mature relationships dating gives us lots of wonderful memories, emotions and feelings. Though different relationships may end differently, the very beginning is usually pretty the same: a person feels like flying with their head in the clouds, they are excited and can’t wait to spend more time with their beloved ones. Unfortunately, this period of time tends to end sooner or later and the phase of the routine begins: all colours are not as bright as they used to be before and the euphoria tends to fade away. It doesn’t mean that love disappears though: it just evolves from being in love to actual love, and even though it takes more effort to keep them passionate and exciting every day, they are much more stable and enjoyable.

  • Brian , 53
    Los Angeles, USA
  • Natalia, 23
    Odessa, Ukraine
  • Cristian, 27
    Bogotá, Colombia
  • Bert(晓波), 52
    Shanghai, China
  • Adelina, 29
    Jiaxing, China
  • Kim, 30
    Meycauayan, Philippines
  • Mary🥑, 25
    Lagos, Nigeria
  • Damian, 37
    São Paulo, Brazil
  • Sarah, 31
    Manila, Philippines
  • Bobby, 44
    Auderghem, Belgium
  • Noah, 48
    Sydney, Australia
  • Sonja, 26
    Aleksinac, Serbia

Being a great partner is something people need to learn as well as other things in life: while some people find it extremely easy to feel their partner’s emotions and understand their needs, the others have to make a few mistakes in life to learn their lessons. Some couples are blessed with extremely mature communication while others have immature relationships which bring more nervousness and insecurity than joy. Lots of people grow out of their teenage phase and become more stable and reliable partners for their beloved ones, but some people can’t see some of their flaws and overcome their immaturity. It doesn’t mean that couples can’t be happy in immature relationships: they surely can, but they will feel like being on an emotional roller-coaster all the time. Extremely sensitive and emotional moments mixed with ugly fights and scandals make people exhausted: that’s why even the most beautiful couples who seem to be mad about each other sometimes break up.

Sometimes a mature person can compensate for their immature partner: these relationships might look pretty balanced and harmonic from the outside, but they often don’t last for too long as well. Great stable relationships are usually based on equality: both partners are adults who take responsibility and try their best to make their partner’s life better. Though mature dating is not always connected with partners’ age, dating over 30 can often be more mature and enjoyable. Dating as adults bring lots of joy and fun: though your relationship is not filled with constant drama, there are lots of new options to improve your relationships such as common plans, goals and a great level of comfort people receive from being with their beloved ones. Mature dating is definitely worth having: unlike movie-like dramatic relationships, real-life love can actually live for decades and become even stronger every day.

Why is it important to have a mature relationship

a couple kissing outside while posing near flowers

Though it’s believed that every happy couple is similar to other happy couples while every unhappy one is miserable in their own way, lots of people tend to believe that every couple has their own and unique happiness. A mature relationship is a union of two adult and well-developed individualities who complement each other and can make each other’s lives better. Their characters don’t compete and people don’t try to break each other and establish their authorities: there’s simply no need to do all these things because people feel confident in their relationships and enjoy being with their partners the way they are while trying to improve every day.

Lots of people dream of movie-like love, but there are lots of different movies which portray “The Real Love” differently.

A mature relationship is based on confidence and trust: while immature couples don’t know whether they’ll be dating in a few months or not, the mature ones know exactly that their relationships don’t usually depend on some mysterious factors which can randomly ruin their love one day. Mature couples know that their relationships and love are based on their own actions and choices: if you put enough effort and love in your couple, then it will never fade away. Even though life is pretty hard and random sometimes, some minor difficulties can only make a stable relationship stronger: while immature couples break up when they face their partner’s differences and face problems, the mature ones can communicate effectively and solve their issues together.

Lots of people dream of movie-like love, but there are lots of different movies which portray “The Real Love” differently: for some people, a great relationship is based on a constant change of emotions with their ups and downs, lots of beautiful romantic gestures and passionate words said in a very intimate atmosphere. For other people, perfect relationships have all romantic attributes from time to time but also lots of responsibility, stability and mutual understanding. There are some things which can help you to understand why people choose mature relationships and how to distinguish them from immature ones:

a couple having dinner together
  • A mature relationship has much less drama, or sometimes even no drama at all. Adults don’t need to fight all the time to feel their value and importance: they prefer to communicate and discuss problems effectively. A mature couple uses their arguments to solve problems, not to release their emotions and stress: they don’t need their love to be wild to feel happy and understand their love is true. Though some young people find it impossible not to fight and they might even think that quiet relationships are only possible while dating over 40, it’s not like that;
  • Mature relationships feel easy. You don’t need to struggle or to conquer a person to experience real love: it usually feels extremely natural because you both understand that you want to be together and admit it. Of course, there might be lots of difficulties in every person’s life, but a mature couple understands that they can withstand anything when they are together and they always fight by the same side;
  • Immature people in relationships are always in doubt. They are not confident about their future and they are always unsure about their partners and relationships: they are worried when they think that their partner will cheat on them or suddenly will end their relationship without any clear reasons. These people aren’t happy in their relationship and they always think that everything can end and break their heart at any moment;
  • Couples in mature relationships don’t feel like they need something they don’t have. There’s no lack of empathy, understanding, communication, passion or warmth: their love fills every hole and makes their relationship extremely fulfilled and enjoyable. These couples don’t feel sadness or emptiness when they spend time together because their love makes them feel full and complete;/li>
  • People in mature relationships know that their partners need some personal space and time to be alone. Lots of people need to recharge their emotions and feelings while being on their own: it can be an evening spent with a good book or a video game, a night out with old friends or a vacation with relatives. A mature person won’t feel nervous and insecure when their partner is somewhere else doing their own business: it’s completely normal to stay independent, and sometimes it’s even essential;
  • A mature relationship makes you stronger. You don’t feel powerless and tired of the storm of emotions inside of you all the time, you don’t have to be nervous and insecure and control everything: a great relationship makes you humble, relaxed and happy the way it is. Your partner doesn’t bring you troubles - they help you to solve issues and feel confident every day.
a mature couple hugging and posing together

Though every relationship is unique, there are some signs of immature relationships you should know about in advance:

  • In mature relationships, you always think in terms of “We”, but in immature ones, you think of “I” and your beloved one separately. The concept of being a couple usually means having common goals, plans and ideas, but unstable relationships make you feel alone and separated from your partner. You should find a balance between being independent and being separated to make your relationship work;
  • A mature dating requires both partners respecting each other and validating each other’s opinions and feelings. If you feel like your beloved one can’t hear you or doesn’t pay attention to what you are about to say, or if you think that your own thoughts and opinions are more valuable than your partner’s, then it can be a bad dating;
  • If you are tired after being with your partner for a long time and can’t wait for them to leave and let you relax, then it’s a bad sign. A good relationship makes you miss your partner when you’re not together and you don’t count time when you’re together. When you feel discomfort and pressure while being with your beloved one, it can be a sign of your incompatibility;
  • An immature relationship makes you doubt that dating a person is a good idea, or you even regret it. When you’re not sure that your relationship makes you a better person and improves your standard of life, then it’s usually a sign that something goes wrong. A happy mature couple often feels confident and satisfied regardless of their income, standards of living or conditions: they work to improve their lives but they never feel like being with someone else could make them happier;
  • In a great stable relationship you don’t want to pretend to be someone else. You don’t need to limit or change your behaviour and think multiple times about what you are about to say, you feel free to joke and talk naturally and are not afraid to look a bit silly or childish because you know that your partner understands and loves you completely. If you lie about your hobbies and views and always try hard to make your partner believe that you’re a person who is smarter, more interesting and intelligent than you really are, then it’s a sign that you don’t feel free and open with that person;
  • In immature relationships people argue and fight because of the same problems again and again. Whether they want to show their dominance or they don’t feel like the issues improve, they often feel unsatisfied and unhappy about who they are and what future they see for their relationship and personal life. A good relationship makes you both grow and help each other instead of pulling each other’s ambitions and opportunities down;
  • An immature relationship makes one person work much harder than the other one to make things work. If you feel that you put much more effort into your relationship than your partner, then it might be a sign that you don’t have equality and balance in your relationship. Harmony and satisfaction are key, so be sure that your partner gives back as much as they receive. When you’re the only one person who tries hard to provide for a couple, when you feel no comfort and constantly thinks of something to entertain your partner or make your life brighter - then it might be a bad sign.
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