Exactly What To Say In A First Message

Online dating is gaining more and more popularity. This is due to the fact that both girls and guys feel more confident and secure when communicating on social networks comparing to real life. Therefore, it is very important to know how to meet a girl on the Internet, because it is much easier than in real life. How to talk to a girl online? For the first sight online dating seems easy. If you are here on the page, then it’s easy to guess that you have already rushed in the difficulties of choosing the right words not to find yourself in a stupid situation.

  • 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚, 52
    Pereira, Colombia
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    Beijing, China
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  • Javier, 29
    Villavicencio, Colombia
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  • Monica, 27
    São Paulo, Brazil
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  • Serg, 38
    Berlin, Germany
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  • Min, 52
    Chongqing, China
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Online dating. Is it for me?

a girl chilling on her bed with a smartphone

Online dating's first message is one of the most important steps on the way to building perfect relationships with the girl of your dreams. Online dating is the best choice for those who have no time in real life for wasting time while talking at restaurants trying to find out if you rushed into the very person you need. Usual situation: you invited her on a date not knowing anything about her - neither taste, nor the way of behavior. Finally, you become totally upset, because she is not your perfect match at all.

Online dating is also for those who believe that their love could live far away from them. There are seven billion people in the world, so it is really stupid to suppose that your soulmate lives un the house next to yours.

Make your profile appropriate

The best you can do before sending a message to a girl you like online is to make your own profile look good. Upload your best picture, but make sure that you look like yourself on it. Update the information: tell about your tastes and interests, note in what kind of relationships you would like to get involved. Treat your potential online date with respect and do not make her waste her time on you if she thinks you won’t be the match. “But I can tell her anything she wants via messaging in the chat” - you’re absolutely right. However, you choose only girls you are interested in for sending messages. Give her a chance to get interested in you even before she will send a reply to your message.

Forget about pick-up lines

Banal conversation openers are out of fashion. Like, they always were, to tell the truth. Love paragraphs for her are best when you want to surprise your already existing girlfriend with some sweet words, but as the first message, it will not be the best choice.

“Hi! Something happened to my phone. It doesn't have your number in it” - really bad. Sounds like you didn’t even put any effort and you aren’t interested in the girl at all.

“Hey, nice to find you. Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?” - That’s much better, but still it is a cliche.

There are some more not-so-good examples:

  • “Aren’t you a time traveler? I see you in my future!”;
  • “Somebody better call God, because he’s definitely missing an angel”;
  • “Is your name Google? You just have everything I’ve been searching for”.

No comments there. It seems like not such a great joke - a bad one, to be honest. Please, don’t act like that.

Train your brain and always be gentle

a cute natural girl smiles softly

You should look through the profile of the chosen girl carefully. Girls usually fill their profiles with passion, so you can tell almost everything about them after reading their bio. Other information you can get from the photos.

Pay attention to the content and emotional coloring of the dialogue.

If the girl complains about her mood, try to cheer her up with kind words or a joke. Find out the reason for her sadness, it is quite possible that the girl is just flirting in a special way. Encourage her, tell her some funny or ridiculous stories about you or your friends.

Girls love others to take care of themselves, so try to create a warm atmosphere in your chat so that she can see that you care about her emotional state. Pay attention to the content and emotional coloring of the dialogue. Try not to offend her accidentally.

To make chatting on the Internet successful and in the future could result in closer communication, adhere to several rules that will help you find the right girl:

  • she must be single;
  • you should feel her interest. There should be no “one-sided game”;
  • it will be perfect if from the first minutes of chatting you find some common topics that you both are curious about.

Starting the conversation: don’t be shy

It's better to start a conversation with a girl on the Internet with a compliment. It should not be banal, but really suitable for the situation. Compliments are appropriate if the girl has photos that can prove them.

You can start texting with a joke, but this is such a gamble. On the one hand, it is impossible to say for sure whether you will win or not. Firstly, you have to be naturally able to joke. Secondly, you can never be sure that the girl you’re texting has a sense of humor like yours, then she may simply not understand your brilliant joke and become mad at you or even offended. In addition, it is crystal clear that men and women think differently and they have different ways of perceiving things. But on the other hand, joking from the first message is a very original method, and girls appreciate and love this. Even if she doesn't like you right away, then you will definitely hook, and in the future everything is in your hands.

Attentiveness, creativity and romantic vibes will not allow the girl to be rude to you or refuse you.

Or, for example, as a start you can congratulate the chosen girl on some holiday. If you look at the calendar, almost every day is a holiday: a day of smiles, happiness, flowers, cats, dogs, tea / coffee lovers and many others. And you can always invent a holiday yourself, so there is always a reason to start messaging with a girl you like in an original way. Such attentiveness, creativity and romantic vibes will not allow the girl to be rude to you or refuse you.

First message online dating examples

Here are some examples of the first message to quality online dating:

“Hey, Lola! Tell me how to make you fall in love with me” - bold, but it is working. Let the girl talk, make her give you information.

“Hello, Vanessa, I heard that your favorite food can tell a lot about you as a person. Tell me yours and I’d try to guess what kind you are!” - take the moment of guessing seriously. Food here may be easily switched to movie/entertainment/music, etc. Choose the “criteria” you’re really into and focus your conversation around it.

Practical advise

a girl using her laptop while lying on her bed

Online dating messages can be versatile. However, there are some obvious tips, which you have to follow, if you want to be successful while chatting with girls online. She’s a girl, so she’ll build your image in her head in a complex manner.

  • Use her name whenever possible. “Hey, Lindsey, tell me something cool about yourself” sounds more likely to get a response than “Hey, tell me about yourself”;
  • If you really like the girl, you should have a lot of questions. So ask her! People love to speak about themselves. You may start with ‘May I ask you a question?”, wait for her positive answer, then ignore it for several minutes after opening. Create a little intrigue;
  • Compliment her interests, not looks. The girl will appreciate that thing. She uploaded the best selfies she has, so it’s obvious that she looks gorgeous;
  • Be literate. If you know that to write is not one of your strongest sides, then you can switch to the voice messages. The problem will be beautifully solved.

Conclusion: online dating first messages can be truly different

Most girls expect the first step to be done by guys. It is a very rare case that a girl will send a cute first message to a guy. Girls love handsome and determined men, and they are easily recognized even by the way they communicate on social networks. Therefore, at the first time of your chatting, most girls will wait for the first message from the guy.

Remember that girls love active guys and, as a rule, they do not waste their time on those they are not interested in. If you see that a girl is flirting with you on the Internet, you can safely ask her for a phone number and make an appointment in the nearest future. It is unlikely that the girl will refuse you, if that really was a flirt.

The same first message can get you completely different responses.

If you get a refusal, do not insult the girl anyway. Try not to be rude to her. This will save you and her from unnecessary negativity. If it didn’t work out with one girl, then it will definitely work out with another one. Everyone has different tastes and views on life, different senses of humour. So to the same first message you can get completely different responses. Do not take refusal close to heart.

Use the ideas you have to talk to girls online. Now you know that online dating's first message is an important part of chatting with a girl you like on the Internet. However, your personal confidence is what always plays a greater role. Choose the site or app to chat with girls carefully, stay calm and treat your potential girlfriend with care and respect.

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