Optimum message length: can it be vital in online dating?

Some people who are pretty new to online dating feel anxious because they are too afraid of doing anything wrong. Too short messages can make your potential partner think you’re not that interested in chatting with them, and too long messages may seem weird too. If you feel a lack of experience and are afraid of looking ridiculous or weird, then you should read this guide to figure out how to increase your chances of success.

  • Benjamin, 44
    Chicago, USA
  • Gwen, 26
    Lyon, France
  • Zah, 40
    Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
  • Jennifer, 54
    Buenos Aires, Argentina, Colombia
  • Adelina, 29
    Jiaxing, China
  • Vicka, 36
    Alanya, Turkey
  • Ahlam, 30
    Tunisia, Tunisia
  • Samantha, 25
    Medellín, Colombia
  • Ya, 28
    Beijing, China
  • Abe, 26
    Shanghai, China, China
  • Vallerie, 29
    Cebu City, Philippines
  • Marc, 43
    Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

For those new to online dating the question of writing a message correctly is always an important one. What do I write about? How to start a conversation with an attractive stranger? What if I don’t get a response? How long should my message be? All of these things are bothering online dating newcomers as they seem vital while getting acquainted with a person you like.

We did some research and finally managed to come to a conclusion about what is optimal message length when looking for love online.

a young woman is using her laptop while smiling

Love letters? No, thanks

What could be better than a good old love letter, full of romantic confessions and sophisticated words?

You might think that being full of emotions you need to share them immediately. And what could be better than a good old love letter, full of romantic confessions and sophisticated words? Practice shows such messages are the worst-case scenario for most online dating services users.

Gender plays an important role in that situation as well. If women are initially expected to be overly emotional, long messages from them are treated as a totally expected thing. Men don’t read it thoroughly, but they give a response every now and then if they find a girl attractive. On the other hand, women getting extremely long messages from guys don’t tend to reply as much, as an oversharing man is a complete nightmare.

Brevity is your best friend

a young man is reading his messages while smiling

While getting acquainted with an attractive person online, think well about why people join dating platforms. One of the most common reasons is lack of time in real life and therefore inability to invest enough into communication. Even the deepest and most thought through essay will not be appreciated if a possible date doesn’t have time to read it.

So what is an optimum message while dating online? We have got some tips to share with you:

  • Be short. Especially if your communication has just begun, there is no need to write more than a sentence. Simple greetings and basic questions don’t usually take more than 100 characters, but are definitely enough to learn more about each other;
  • Be sweet. If you want a person to fall for you, be nice to them. Put all your bad jokes away - you will have a chance of using them later if your tastes in humour coincide. But at least in the beginning keep the things as sweet as possible.

a happy bearded man is using his laptop at home

But thinking about the right words to say, don’t forget about other things that will leave a certain impression about you. That means tidying up your profile. Get rid of information you don’t want your possible partner to see and choose the best of your photos. Nice personal pages are not the last thing investing into communication initiation.

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