So, let’s imagine a situation. You are a girl in your 20s or 30s and you like your men dating over 30 or 40. There is a man 10 to 15 years older than you who seems like an option to date. What do you do? Is it even appropriate? We say: yes, for sure, give that guy a go! Even though there are some pitfalls in dating an older man, the advantages will soon outweigh it.
What do you do? Is it even appropriate? We say: yes, for sure, give that guy a go!
You might still have some doubts, so here we are going to break it down for you. We collected the most important pros and cons of dating an older man and will share it in this article.
Pros of having an older partner
Let’s first start with the good sides of such an affair.
1. They know how to please a woman
Age means experience, and experience means that a man has already learned his lessons about pleasing a partner. Even if he had some issues with his previous women, he had the time to think it over and find the best ways not to repeat these mistakes anymore. If he is willing to commit seriously, of course. In that case you can be sure your partner will do his job to make the relations satisfactory for both parties.
The communication between you two will be on a whole new level as well. Older males know how important mutual support, respect and understanding are. So every issue will be a subject of discussion rather than an unproductive argument. And no useless presents will wait by your door: mature men are aware that every woman’s taste is different and a giant teddy bear is not a guarantee of lady’s pleasure.
2. They have their head on straight
Another thing experience brings to a person is wisdom and knowing what they want. An older man has already had enough fun and now knows what he wants. He has already set - and even reached - some of his goals and has the idea of his further actions on his mind. A mature man is obviously pretty organized and his life is well put together.
Mature men understand that beautiful appearance is just a temporary thing but such traits as honesty and reliability are timeless.
That concerns love life as well. A man with a background knows what he needs in a life partner. And usually it is not sparkle and glitter which younger guys pay a lot of attention to. Mature men understand that beautiful appearance is just a temporary thing but such traits as honesty and reliability are timeless. They are also going to be open with you and if something goes wrong, it will come up soon enough to allow the problem to be solved.
3. They are well-established
It is of no doubt that older men have already gained a certain status and reputation in society. Usually by the age of 35 or 40 a man has a well-paid job and enough achievements to be respected. Status is naturally one of the most attractive things for women. A good reputation means that a man can take care of his wife and future children.
Lots of younger women are looking for partners on the best rich men dating sites. But money is not everything, you might claim, and you would be right. Modern women are independent enough to earn a living themselves. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pay attention to your significant other’s status. Even if you are a businesswoman yourself, isn’t it pleasant to have an equal partner by your side? It sure is and therefore older men in this relation are just great.
4. They value stability
Being stable is yet another trait of an older partner which is very appealing to the opposite sex. Women who have serious intentions and are ready to settle down will really appreciate the same desire in their men. In this regard older partners also win over younger guys.
Older men want to commit to a long-term relationship more often than not. They have already gone through everything that dating has to offer and now their goal is to finally find the one to spend the whole life with. That only means that you won’t have to wait for a marriage proposal for ages.
Cons of dating an older man
Not everything is so easy when it comes to couples with an age gap. Here are some of the most common problems you can face.
1. They might not be so fun to date
What you want as a young girl is often some kind of entertainment to do with your partner. Even if you happen to have the same interests with your partner, his age might mean that he is no longer that much into various activities. Instead of going out on the weekend night they might prefer staying in and having some lazy time together.
Of course, people are different. If you are an introvert who doesn’t like the fuss anyways, then it is perfect for you. On the other hand, even a senior person can be fascinated by the idea of being active and having fun. There is no common rule, but it will be a good idea to discuss hobbies and pastimes on the first date.
2. They may be controlling
With age guys tend to start thinking that they are superior in relation to others. It might not be really so, but just the expectations they might put onto their partners can seem overwhelming. That means that even if you are a person who is qualified and well-educated your opinion will still be looked down on as you won’t seem experienced enough to express it.
If you start feeling too much control from your partner, go away no matter how much you love him.
The other problem might be connected with actual control. Men in their late thirties and forties often want to know everything about the life of their woman which leaves no personal space. They can ask a lot of questions about your free time and your friends and also try to change you to make them more suitable to their tastes. If you start feeling too much control from your partner, go away no matter how much you love him.
3. They can move to fast
This is a controversial point as for some it may seem as an advantage while for others it is the worst nightmare. Older men want to settle pretty fast. In a way it is too much for a young girl, who still wants to have some fun and take some time to bring her goals to life. So the main advice would be to define your own desires before you commit to anything and not to be afraid to reject a proposal if it was not something in your plans.
A Few More Things You Should Know
Age is one of the few things to consider when dating. In each of our relationships, we bring our life experience in general and past relationships in particular. How important is it that the story of one partner is 10 years longer than yours? This has its own pros and cons of dating an older man:
- A meeting with a man in his middle 20 will be very different from a meeting with a man in his middle 50. He may not be so surprised at your stories, because he has already come across this. If you are young, you may be bored on a date with a grown man. Most likely, he will be calm and balanced, unlike his peers. And he will clearly know what he wants or how to behave with a woman. Do not expect him to do some kind of madness. Be prepared to be convicted of a large age difference. You may be told that this is all because you had problems with your father and so on. It is important to ignore such things and not succumb to provocations;
- If he is already retired and you are still working, this can be a problem. You will focus on work issues, solve some problems and strive for something. These questions will not worry him anymore. Think about whether this will become a problem in your relationship and how it can relate to it;
- Think about what happens next. Now you are getting married, and then what? You will move to him, have children or go on a trip - these moments are worth discussing. Before you go to such a serious step as marriage, you need to understand whether your views on such things agree or not. Perhaps you see your shared future differently and have to find a compromise;
- You can discover the gulf in the looks. It's one thing when he does not orient himself in modern trends and fashion - such things are easy to fix. But you may have different religious and political views. Most likely, you will not be able to convince him or agree. The older a person is, the more difficult it is for him to change his mind about some things. He may be withdrawn and not willing to discuss something. He was born 10-20 years later than you, he grew up in a different era. It is great if you are lucky and you find a man with progressive views, but do not really hope so much;
- You may prefer different ways of communication. For example, it will be more convenient for you to send text messages, but he likes video chats, calls or personal communication. But such things are very individual. Now, a lot of people aged enjoy using dating sites and they are happy with everything.
After we reviewed dating older men pros and cons the only thing left for you is to decide yourself if it is worth it. In our opinion, there is no need to judge a person by age only. Take everything into account, be it common stereotypes or individual traits and make your own conclusions.