While dating people, you certainly come across various personalities. The person you meet can be aggressive, hilarious, active or pessimistic. But there is also a category of people who are not so often around. If being shy is a trait of your date’s character, it probably means they will have a hard time becoming close with someone.
That doesn’t mean shy people never date. But their experience is totally different from the one shown by the media. Being introverted you might not know how to start a conversation with a new acquaintance, no need to say that the necessity of opening to somebody and sharing personal details can even feel frightening. So the only thing shy people need in a relationship is understanding and careful treatment. For those who don’t know how to date a shy girl or boy, here are some tips that will help to deal with this kind of personality.
Why people are shy
There are different reasons why people become timid and humble. It is important to know because one of the dating tips you should remember is not to be pushy as it can remind your partner of bad memories. Some individuals are shy in their adulthood because at school classmates used to bully them. Others don’t feel like they can relate to the interests and topics most of those surrounding them discuss, so it is better to stay quiet.
There is also a category of people who have never caused the interest of the opposite gender before and simply don’t know how to act.
Keep in mind that you shouldn’t be too straightforward with shy people. Dating a shy girl or boy takes your time and allows them to get used to being in your company. Be honest and sincere but don’t try to move fast. Focusing on the character of your date and pointing out the traits that worry you won’t be a good idea either.
Online dating is perfect for shy people. While meeting in reality includes awkwardness and demands immediate reaction to the interlocutor's words, texting gives a lot more freedom.
- It’s easier to avoid the pauses you definitely have while getting to know a person in reality;
- You also have more time to think over whatever you want to say and won’t regret oversharing or, on the contrary, sharing too little.
Not every dating app and website will be a good choice for a shy person. Having a stream of unfamiliar girls and boys flooding into your messages is really uncomfortable. Swiping the profiles right and left is what includes your own decisions and makes shy people even more doubtful and bashful.
But at Dating.com there is no need to worry about unwanted intrusive individuals. You can choose by yourself who to respond to and just set your own search for a perfect partner. Before starting a conversation you can look through the profile of the probable date and decide whether you want to continue any interactions with them.
How to ask a shy person out
Either you are dating a shy girl or a man who is shy with girls, you might need to take the action into your own hands when it comes to arranging meetings.
- If you met online, wait until the person feels completely fine talking to you and starts opening up;
- Offline communicate while you meet at parties or social events until you ask a person you like out.
If that’s a shy girl you are into it’s just natural to feel obliged to initiate a more personal communication. But even if you like a shy man, he won’t be the one to organize a date, so you can do it. Don’t invent any crazy ways that seem to be romantic. Timid people are a lot more comfortable with simple invitations. But don’t insist if they are not ready to go out with you. Personality traits have nothing to do with their own wishes and preferences, so maybe you are just not the right guy or girl for them.
When the first date finally happens, it is not yet a victory but another challenge. To make everybody feel comfortable and don’t get into uncomfortable pauses every now and then, suggest doing some kind of activity together.
Take the tastes of your partner into account and choose something they would enjoy as well. It can be a concert of a local musician, season-appropriate activity like apple picking or visiting a theme park.
Choosing to spend the first date the usual way, having a walk or sitting in a cafe, be ready to help maintain a conversation. Ask questions, but don’t go into personal details if you are not sure how they are going to react. Tell funny stories from your own experience, it is always a way to remind you of something relatable and call for a reaction. Even a simple topic like weather or holidays will be a good choice for a first date.
Being honest and accepting is the basis of any relationship, but someone who is bashful needs it more than ever. Don’t try to hide your own personality in order to make them fall in love with you. The truth eventually comes out and you can’t always be hiding your true self. Even if you happen not to be the one to respect such a choice.
Embrace your date’s shyness the way you embrace yourself. Dating girls or boys who are shy you get an amazing listener and a trustworthy friend who will always stay by your side. You can also learn some tips on how to start a conversation with an attractive stranger easily.
Some more tips for dating shy people:
- Be open to physical and moral communication. Try to sit straight with your head up, do not cross your arms and do not constantly check something on the phone. Your date may indicate that you are not interested and bored. Straighten your back, examine the surrounding people, do not forget to smile. Show that you are interested and want to communicate;
- Discuss valid conversation topics. Introverts are usually very well-read, erudite and smart, they can support any topic. But some very personal ones may faint them. Do not put pressure on a person if you see that he does not want to talk to you. Come up with a topic that you can turn off if you feel uncomfortable;
- Make an appointment in a familiar place. A new place can confuse and frighten you. Ask your companion to come to a place where you will feel calm and safe. This will make you more relaxed and you will get more pleasure from a date;
- Make humility your dignity. This is by no means a flaw, quite the opposite. Many people find shyness an incredibly cute and sexy quality. Be cute and mysterious and it will drive your companion crazy;
- Be honest with your date. Tell me plainly if you don’t like something or feel uncomfortable. Before a date, you can directly tell your date that you are very shy. So your partner will not think about disinterest or boredom.
Don’t try to change the person and rather learn to love them for who they are. Being shy is not a weakness, it's just another representation of the variety of people.