What qualities a good man has

Relationships can be complicated: people learn all the time and gain experience with every new relationship they have. Even though some lucky people find themselves wonderful partners from the first try, there are much more people who fail at least once and then learn from their own mistakes. It’s completely normal to make them: while some people are too afraid to do something wrong and prefer to do almost nothing to avoid mistakes, the others know that we all aren’t perfect and every failure makes us stronger and smarter. Experience is valuable whether it’s good or bad: some events and things in our life teach us who we are and what we want from our lives and some of them show us things we definitely don’t need to be happy. It’s hard to do everything perfectly when you don’t know what perfect is: sometimes a great thing not only has good qualities but lacks bad ones.

  • Kim, 30
    Meycauayan, Philippines
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    Calgary, Canada
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    Bogotá, Colombia
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    Beirut, Lebanon
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    Hong Kong, Hong Kong
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    Odessa, Ukraine
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    Mendoza, Argentina , Colombia
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    Medellín, Colombia
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    Miami, USA
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    Auderghem, Belgium
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    Abuja, Nigeria
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    beijing, China

While there are lots of tips on how to find a good guy and what you should do in relationships, there is not so much advice about what qualities actually make a person good. Even though sometimes the answer seems obvious, there are still lots of people making bad choices again and again: when we’re in love, we often focus our attention on one of the person’s good qualities but completely forget about the cons they might also have. Fulfilled with euphoria, we idealize people we date only to understand they are not perfect (and sometimes they are not even good) later. Every person who has already gone through the pain and consequences of their bad decisions will try really hard to avoid the mistakes in their future, and it’s normal: the most important thing is to remember that there are lots of great men around, so you shouldn't lose hope.

It goes without saying that every person has flaws and imperfections. None of us is excellent: while some people have small flaws which can sometimes make them even more interesting and even charming, the others might have serious issues which don’t let them have serious relationships and decent friends during their lives. While some people are sure that people’s characters can’t be changed and prefer not to do anything with their flaws, the others know that flaws are not like incurable diseases: a person can change their character if they really want that for themselves. Lots of people get rid of their bad qualities and habits when they become mature: they analyze their lives, think about their behaviour and finally decide that there are some things which make their lives worse, so they need to go. The worst case is when a person who is fully aware of their cons doesn’t want to change: in that situation, no one can’t do anything to impact their character.

A “nice guy” is a stereotype in the world of dating: there are lots of men who somehow decide they’re “nice” without any evidence or feedback.

Almost every woman with dating experience knows that there is a great difference between a “nice guy” and a “good guy”. While “a nice guy” is usually someone who positively thinks about themselves and prefers not to see their negative qualities, good guys are often men who prefer not to label themselves but prove their pros with their actions. A “nice guy” is a stereotype in the world of dating: there are lots of men who somehow decide they’re “nice” without any evidence or feedback. At the same time, good guys don’t need to say anything to describe their characters: their good qualities speak for themselves and they tend to think that a man labelling himself “nice” is like a person calling themselves “intelligent”. It’s often seen as a sign of a bad taste and shallow self-perception combined with unhealthy self-esteem and it’s not great for their potential partners. Of course, there are lots of exceptions, but they often tend to prove that the rule actually works.

Even though every woman has her own opinion and prefers different qualities in men to be prominent, there are still some features which are common for every great guy you meet. While lots of bad people are bad differently, good qualities are often pretty common: people have created a list of the unwritten rules of what makes a person good and follow them. While some of these qualities have changed during the centuries, some of them are essential and are extremely important at all times. There are some qualities to look for in a man to be happy with him.

The best characteristics of a good man you should remember about

a couple hanging out in the park

Many women have an image of a perfect man in their mind: they compare all real men they meet with their ideal and make their choice according to what they see. The tactic of “looking for the Prince Charming” has lots of disadvantages: people are not perfect and it’s hard to find someone who has all of them at once. Remember that even if some qualities in a man you meet are less prominent than the others, it doesn’t mean that he’s not a good man. Some people don’t have very prominent qualities in their characters but they are still good and decent guys, and there are people with a few very strong positive characteristics who also have some bad qualities which are not always seen from the very beginning of the relationship. Remember that your perfect man doesn’t have to be heroic or supernaturally perfect to be great: sometimes you can meet people whose great and awful features are equally prominent.

People who are unable to feel empathy are partners who can still be great when life is easy but when something goes wrong - you’ll probably be left alone with all your fears and insecurities.

Even though it’s usually pretty hard to see all man's characteristics from the very beginning, you still need to have standards which are important to remember about before starting relationships with a new guy. There are qualities of a good man that you can spot easily: good sense of humour, respectful attitude and positivity attract people around and these men often have lots of friends who love them. At the same time, it’s not enough: unfortunately, even one great bad quality can turn your relationship in a bad way. And, vice versa, a man can have some flaws, for example, do no romantic things for his girlfriend, but be amazing in all the other respects. It doesn’t mean you have to test all of the men around or be afraid of serious relationships with them: just trust your gut feelings and spot the red flags on time.

a couple having a date in a restaurant

It’s important to think carefully about people you meet: even though it’s extremely difficult to think when you’re madly in love it actually makes it even more important to do so. Unfortunately, not all attractive people with some great features are perfect for us: you shouldn’t be afraid to say goodbye to unreliable or cruel men because while they take place in your life there’s no place for a great guy who can actually make you happy. These are things you need to remember about while looking for a decent guy:

  • It goes without saying that a good man should be reliable. It starts from their professional life and friendships and ends with their romantic relationships with women: when a person is not trustworthy - it is a very bad sign for everyone who’s involved in his life. People who betray the trust of their friends and colleagues are often left alone: there are not so many people who would risk their well-being and resources to support and help an unreliable person in need. In romantic relationships unreliable partners often cause hearts to be broken: some people cheat for years and don’t even feel remorse after being caught. Also, it’s extremely hard to deal with pathological liars: when a person lies too much about every unimportant detail they sometimes start to believe in their lies, and it leads to the endless cycle which has no end;
  • Being direct is another important quality every “real” man should have. When you ask a direct and important question you expect your men to answer directly without hesitations: of course, there are lots of situations in life when it’s hard to make a decision immediately, but if a man always shrugs instead of answering - that might become a problem. Lots of men allow their ladies to choose where to go out tonight and what to order but making serious decisions which can affect both partner’s lives should be a process which includes both people in relationships. Determination and clear understanding of the goals define men who can achieve things they need to be happy and make their women happy as well. When a man doesn’t know what he wants and what opinions he has, it often makes his woman make all decisions on her own. Even though there are ladies who love taking the initiative, they shouldn’t always be leaders who do everything alone;
  • A caring and emotionally intelligent man can potentially become a loving husband and great father to his children. Even though in patriarchal families women are often expected to be caring and sensitive, it doesn’t mean that men don’t have to behave and feel the same way. When you’re ill and want your man to do some household chores or to buy medicines you need, his response shouldn’t be “It’s not a man’s job” - that attitude shows how little he cares about you and your well-being. You can still be the main homemaker and caretaker in your relationship but if a man doesn’t understand your emotions and needs he won’t be able to provide you with what you expect him to give you. People who are unable to feel empathy are partners who can still be great when life is easy but when something goes wrong - you’ll probably be left alone with all your fears and insecurities;
  • A responsible man knows the real value of his words: when you rely on your partner you expect him to be able to do things he promised to do. When you understand that your man speaks more than he actually does you can leave him or take on responsibilities and do everything on your own. A man who isn’t responsible might face lots of difficulties in his professional life: he might often be late, he doesn't finish the projects he promised to complete on time and he struggles because of the financial decisions he makes. All these things make him unable to support your relationship and his potential family: a man who doesn’t do things he should do is someone who will turn you into the locomotive carrying your relationship on your shoulders;
  • Respectful attitude is a must for every good man you date: if your partner doesn’t value your interests, opinions, time or efforts, then he doesn’t actually love you as a person you are. Some people tend to love in a possessive way: they feel like their partners belong to them and shouldn’t have any personal life or preferences whatsoever. A disrespectful attitude is often seen when a man doesn’t listen to what you say, laughs at your dreams and goals, doesn’t value your work and time and acts in a rude way towards you and people who are important to you. This negative feature is definitely one of the worst your potential partner might have: when he sees no personality in you he can always step over you and leave all your wishes and opinions behind;
  • A mature man is someone who understands how the world works. He might not be professional in every field but he knows his priorities and is less subject to mood swings and inappropriate actions. He knows what’s really important and relies on himself: while teenagers are mostly concentrated on having fun, mature people understand that great results require hard work and no one else would do it for themselves. A man loves you while a boy only loves himself and how he feels when he’s with you: even though you both are adult people who should be responsible for your own happiness, a mature man understands his protective role and is ready to do what’s necessary. Partners support each other while immature teenagers only do things which are good for them in the first place;
  • Confident men are attractive: they know their pros and how to use them the best. It’s not only connected with the way they look, speak or behave: that’s the fire in their eyes which lightens every room he enters. The quality is often seen in smart men: they know their cards well and therefore don’t need to be afraid of the world around them. Even strong and initiative women love their men to be confident: a person who is not afraid to take the initiative and knows what he does allows his woman to feel weak at least for a while. Even though too much confidence is also bad, a man who doesn’t believe in himself makes the others unsure in his abilities too. Confidence helps men to be successful in their professional life and to achieve their goals: sometimes the hardest part is to start doing something and it requires courage and self-confidence from a person. Even in everyday life confidence makes a man’s voice deeper, his jokes - better and his results - higher;
  • A positive attitude is something which helps a man to look in his future with optimism and hope. It’s easier to make plans and live close to positive people: they can see even a small light in the dark, so they can always bring happiness in your relationships.
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