Though some people might think that the fact that you have a first date with someone is already a success, real-life often tells us that it’s only half of the work - or even less. It’s not enough to attract a person a bit to make them agree to have one date with you - you also have to create a good first impression about yourself and put an effort into creating a good aftertaste after your date. While lots of people are interested in having remarkable and flawless dates, we shouldn’t forget that our goodbyes can also create a very significant impression on a person. They might be thinking about the last minutes of the date for hours after the evening, and sometimes they can’t get it out of their heads for days later. Making a date amazing from its very beginning to the end is a real art, but there are some general rules which can help everyone not only to act correctly on a date but also to end the date right.
A good end of a first date has lots of importance and can be extremely valuable for both partners. The way your partner says goodbye to you can tell you a lot about the date you had: their emotions, impressions and opinions are often written on their faces or can be heard in their intonations. Being sensitive, attentive and emphatic can help you a lot: when you can feel people’s emotions and reactions well, it’s easier for you to say the right things and make good decisions on a date. The same goes with a good date’s ending: lots of romantic comedies show the typical dating situations and people’s insecurities during them. The last episode of a date is often connected with a decision whether people should kiss or not, should they set up another date or not and so on. It’s not only important for young people: people who are dating over 30 or even 40 think a lot about a good date ending as well. Real-life is often different from movies, but lots of people have similar issues: they are not sure how to react and what to do to make things right.
How to end the first date correctly
A first date is a great opportunity to spend time with a person you like and to know them better. It’s time to talk, to share your interests, hobbies and life goals, to demonstrate your intelligence and sense of humour and to think whether you suit each other well or not. People often try to look better than they actually are on dates: it’s an essential part of human nature to attract potential partners by pretending to be someone stronger, smarter and more successful than they are. Mature people who have great dating experience often know that lying on a first date is a catastrophic way to start a relationship: they prefer to be loved for who they are and not for who they tried to pretend to be. At the same time, it’s reasonable and effective to show your best sides and to demonstrate your great features: though modesty is a nice trait of character, people who have lack of self-confidence often lose the dating game even with the best cards.
There is no ultimate guide on how to end a first date: people are different and everyone has their preferences and expectations. While some people are into short romantic adventures, the others are looking for long-term serious relationships, some people prefer things to go quickly while others want to be slow but confident in what they do. Culture plays an important role as well: dating American women and men is different from dating people from other countries because every place has its traditions and culture. Use your first date to know your companion as well as you can to be sure that you both want the same things and expect your dating to go at the same pace: a good understanding is key for people who want their dating to be pleasant and productive.
There is no ultimate guide on how to end a first date: people are different and everyone has their preferences and expectations.
We should always remember that though people are different, they seek the same basic things in their communication and relationships. Respect, mutual understanding, friendliness, politeness and appropriate behaviour - these are things which are essential for every great date. To create a great impression and to make your companion wait for the next date you should remember a few rules:
- Be a good listener. A date is not your personal time to give your partner all your autobiography and tell everything about who you are: your companion also has rights to talk and to be heard. Listen to what they want to say and try to remember as many things about them as you can: even a little detail about them can help you a lot in the future (if you succeed and start a relationship, of course) to find right topics to discuss and to choose great presents for them. Ask them questions to learn more details about their interests and views, share your interests and try to keep your conversation as casual and lively as you can;
- Behave and talk politely and respectfully. Though some people still think that women love “bad guys”, it doesn’t mean that you should use swearing and lots of slang on a date. Don’t ask your partner any inappropriate questions, don’t openly comment on their appearance or interests in a negative way, don’t demonstrate that you’re bored or disappointed. Even if you clearly understand that it’s not a person for you, don’t be rude or offensive;
- Show your gratitude at the end of the date. Whether your potential partner paid for your dinner or just agreed to spend an evening with you, show them that you appreciate that and it was a nice opportunity to communicate and know each other better. Smile and say “thank you” to create a good impression about yourself;
- A guy should take or walk a girl home (unless she doesn’t want it). Whether you’re modern and independent or conservative and traditional in dating, you should remember that it’s usually expected for a man to take or walk a lady home to be sure that it’s safe for her to go home at night and she’ll be fine. At the same time, if a lady doesn’t want her date to join her (whatever the reasons are) a man shouldn’t insist. You should understand a thin line between a girl’s shyness and modesty when she refuses because she doesn’t want to bring you troubles (or because she is flirty) and her strict decision to end the date right there. She might not want you to know where she lives in the very beginning of your dating or she might be afraid of you insisting on intimacy after, but don’t force her and let her decide;
- End the date with a joke. A nice and appropriate joke is a great way to end a date. If you manage to make her smile a lot, she will definitely have lots of pleasant memories and associations with the date, so use your sense of humour to increase your chances with her. Remember to avoid bawdy jokes and opaque hints of closeness: a bad joke is a sign of a bad taste and low intelligence.
There are lots of things which can decrease your chances with an attractive person and sometimes we can’t really change them. If you’re too different and your goals and expectations simply don’t match, there’s probably nothing you can do. But there are also things which can ruin the ending even of a good first date:
- Don’t show your disappointment with your companion. Whether you understood that you’re not interested in a person any more or expected to have sex with them on the very first date, don’t show your disappointment and lack of interest. It definitely won’t make a person change their decision on whether they should sleep with you immediately or not but can quickly repel them from you. Also, if you realized that a person is definitely not your type, remember that it’s not their fault: be nice and polite and don’t offend your date because they don’t match your tastes;
- A guy shouldn’t be pushy when she’s clearly disinterested. Though some women love dating games when women play hard-to-get and men behave like chasers, this game is definitely not for everyone: it’s usually pretty easy to understand when a woman is flirty and wants her companion to be a bit more decisive and playful and when a lady is simply polite but not into dating games. Be sensitive and read her emotions: a lady should trust you enough to make intimacy happen, so don’t behave like sex is the only thing you want from her;
- A woman doesn’t owe a man sex because he has paid for her dinner. That’s it: your generous decision to feed her doesn’t mean that she must sleep with you. If you don’t want to waste money on a woman who is ready to sleep with you straight after, then it’s much more honest to separate your bill and to limit your expectations;
- Don’t force a person to tell their opinion about the date or your chances immediately. Lots of people who are not very confident want to know the result of their date as if it was their exam to know whether they failed or succeeded. Be humble and patient and let a person spend time and form their opinion later: they probably need time to relax and to understand what they think of you. If you already know that a person is not going to have another date with you, you can politely ask them about the reasons: this information can help you to avoid these mistakes next time. But remember not to be pushy or accusing: show them that they are free to express their opinion - in case you’re ready to hear it, of course.