Lots of people who are not confident about their kissing skills want to know how to kiss better: they might be dating their crush and want to make their first kiss unforgettable, or, what’s even more embarrassing, their partner might awkwardly tell them that their kissing skills are pretty poor. When you kiss someone you like you want to do everything right: a kiss is a way to show another person how you feel about them, so being a bad kisser can spoil the impression a lot. A kiss is a manifestation of affection, a prelude to something more - so there’s no surprise that no one wants to fail it. Even when you’re a very inexperienced and reserved person, it’s always better to be a shy kisser than a bad one: though there are no such things as ultimate perfect types of kissing, there are a few mistakes which can spoil everything a lot. Being a great kisser is often about avoiding mistakes - and your skills and experience will do the rest later.
Therefore, there are lots of people who are interested in learning the best way to kiss someone. How do others learn to kiss so well? Of course, different people learn to kiss differently: some of them are lucky to have experienced partners who are happy to teach them some tricks, some people learn kissing techniques on the Internet, others prefer to improvise and gain some skills on their own. If you have at least a bit of experience, then it will be much easier for you to learn how to kiss better: a person who experienced a kiss at least once in life understands possible mistakes much better than a complete noob. But there is an opportunity to be a better kisser for everyone: read some tips on how to improve your kissing skills and find the best way to do it correctly.
What to do to be a good kisser (and what not to)
Kissing is a very special skill: while some people seem to be naturally talented kissers, the others have to practise on tomatoes or surf the internet to find good advice on how not to fail. Some people don’t find it very important to kiss well while the others become extremely anxious thinking of doing something wrong: it’s very individual and personal for everyone and often depends on a person’s self-esteem, experience and expectations. People who are dating over 30 can sometimes be as inexperienced as the younger ones: age doesn’t always play an important role there. Being a bad kisser is definitely not the end of the world, but becoming a better kisser can improve your dating and kissing experience a lot: knowing that your partner is pleased and satisfied by the way you kiss them can be a very valuable boost to your self-esteem and confidence. Kissing is not so difficult: it often requires only sensitivity and ability to understand your partner’s feeling well enough to be appropriate and suitable.
There are a few unwritten rules of a good kiss.
There are lots of things which influence the quality of our kisses: there are not only our skills which influence the way our kiss feels like. We’re all different: while some people are mad about passionate French kisses and want to explore their partner’s lips and mouth with their tongues, the others are more into innocent and light kisses which can’t be seen as a prelude by any means. Our preferences, conditions, mood and specific features can impact the result a lot: we should always listen to our feelings but also use our minds to understand whether it’s a good idea to kiss or not. There are a few unwritten rules of a good kiss: though some of these things might seem pretty obvious, there are still lots of people who don’t even think about it and might be surprised of how important they actually are. If you want to kiss like a pro, then you should remember that:
- Don't kiss a person unless you are sure that you really want to. It seems obvious to many people, but there are also lots of situations when a person is too unsure what they feel or just want to experiment and try something new that they kiss someone just to see how it feels like. In some situations a person you kinda like might choose an inappropriate moment to kiss you: you don’t object because you don’t want to repel them but you also understand that you’re not really into kissing right now. All these things can spoil the impression and make your kiss much worse, so learn to understand your emotions: don’t kiss anyone because you’re just bored, too drunk or just want to use your chance to kiss a random person to experience something new;
- Make sure that your partner doesn't object being kissed. Though some people might think that asking whether you can kiss a person or not can kill the magic moment, there are much more situations when people would have disagreed being kissed if they had been asked in advance. You don’t want to abuse a person you like and neglect their feelings, so it’s usually better to ask then just to kiss someone hoping that it’s appropriate. Remember that question “Can I kiss you?” can sometimes be extremely romantic and sensitive;
- Try to understand whether it’s a nice place and time to kiss a person or not. Even if a person really likes you, there are still lots of situations when it’s not a good idea to kiss: when you have the flu or have just eaten something smelly when your partner is mad at you or you have an argument, when you’re on public or someone is staring at you - all these situations are not very romantic. Also, lots of people want to feel the beauty of the moment, so places like your granny’s house, a dirty bus stop or a smelly fish market are not exactly where they want to be kissed;
- Don’t use too complicated techniques. Though many people associate high-skilled kissers with people who can tie a cherry stem in a knot with their tongues, it doesn’t mean that everyone is excited to feel their partner’s tongue flouncing like crazy in their mouth. You don’t always have to try French kissing while dating American women: being exotic while kissing can sometimes repel your partners. Kissing is not about surprising your partner with your secret technique you’ve learned on Youtube a day ago: it’s about enjoying a process and feeling your partner’s emotions correctly. It’s better to do a simple but sensitive kiss than an extravaganza which can tire your partner;
- Pay attention to things your partner does while kissing you. The way your partner chooses to kiss you can tell you a lot about what they actually prefer in kissing: if your partner uses their tongue a lot and lightly bit your lips, then it might be a sign for you to be more initiative and experimenting. At the same time, if they don’t respond to your tongue and keep simple, then it might show you that they are not into wild passionate kissing - and you should respect their choice. You can teach your partner some tricks or show them some things they might really like, but if it’s clear that they show no enthusiasm - then you should stop what you’re doing and kiss them more casually.
How to kiss well
A kiss can be amazing and pleasant or awkward and cringe-worthy: lots of people who have already kissed in their life know that kissing someone can sometimes have a very unpredictable result. Though many people see a kiss as just a tool to express their feelings, a kiss itself can be an experience which shows how compatible and comfortable your partner is for you and just how right it feels: a kiss can take you high or make you rethink your affection once again. The beginning of dating is often about understanding what you really feel: whether you’re just driven by passion or there’s actually something more between both of you. An unpleasant kiss can break the charm of being in love, so everyone is interested in creating a good first impression.
The beginning of dating is often about understanding what you really feel: whether you’re just driven by passion or there’s actually something more between both of you.
There is no ultimate way to kiss someone: there are so many different ways to do it that every person can find something special according to their preferences and interests. At the same time, lots of polls show that there are a few things which are liked by most people while kissing and the same goes with their dislikes: some of these things are obvious while the others are not so clear. There are a few things you should remember to be a better kisser:
- Make sure your breath is fresh. Even if the burrito you ate a half an hour ago was delicious it doesn’t mean that your partner wants to experience your spicy breath while kissing you. Use chewing gums or mouth fresheners to keep your breath pleasant and fresh to create a good impression of your kiss. Also, remember that it’s not only food that can influence the smell from your mouth: some stomach illnesses, hunger or just a long nap can also make your breath unfresh;
- Keep your lips soft and well maintained. Even if it’s winter and cold affects your lips badly, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take good care of your mouth: use pilings and lip balms to keep your lips soft and healthy. Lips are your main tool in kissing, so their condition can influence your kiss a lot: most people don’t like being kissed by people with chapped sore lips whether they like these people or not;
- Don’t make your kiss too wet. Slobber isn’t sexy: no one likes it when their partner’s lips are too wet and slobbering. Though saliva is a natural part of our body, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t control it while kissing: your partner shouldn’t associate a kiss with you with their dog happily licking their face. This mistake can repel your partner and kill their wish to kiss you again;
- You can kiss not only lips. Though some experiments with your tongue can be not liked by your partner, you definitely can kiss other parts of your partner’s face and body to make a kiss more sensitive. Kiss their cheeks, nose, forehead, chin, neck - light and gentle kisses can express your affection and make your experience more sensitive and romantic. At the same time, don’t try to kiss your partner’s neck or ears too early: these are very sensitive places and this type of kissing can be seen as a prelude to intimacy which is not always appropriate. You can also use your hands and hold your partner’s chin gently or touch their face while kissing: do it in moderation and your experience will become even better;
- Don’t nibble your partner’s lips. Though a light bite can be very sensitive and pleasant, you definitely should avoid nibbling your partner’s lips furiously: it’s painful, irritating and distracting, so lots of people dislike it. Though nibbling can be seen as an act of passion by you, your partner might feel differently;
- For many people, hickeys are not sexy. Just like nibbling, hickeys are often seen as something extremely passionate, but they are often not. You’re not a vacuum cleaner: labelling your partner with a painful mark for days can bring them lots of troubles at work or home, so avoid doing it unless your partner tries it on you first;
- Don’t be too pushy. Regardless of what you’ve seen in movies, the best kisses are often the slow ones: your partner needs time to get used to what’s happening and to feel confident enough to respond and experiment. A slow kiss tends to be more sensitive and erotic: you don’t have to act extremely passionately or wild to make your kiss toe-curling. Sometimes waiting is even more teasing and desirable, so start slowly. Use your tongue in moderation: you shouldn’t lick your partner’s face all over to show your passion. Sometimes a light touch of your tongue to your partner’s lower lip can be much more erotic and sexy than your tongue going too far in their mouth;
- Your body language is important. Your pose and movement can radiate your confidence and attractiveness: often a good kisser can be seen because of how they can feel the pace, mood and tension of the process. Kissing is like a conversation: you should listen to your partner’s emotions and reactions and be ready to lead the kiss or to follow. Hug your partner, caress them and don’t let your hands be too intrusive unless a kiss becomes really passionate: feel what’s happening in a kiss and be ready to react appropriately.